Back here again, overdosed again, don't seem to be able to stop taking tablets have told the shrink who might as well have laughed in my face. I need help, they not listening, I had to have tests to check my liver and kidney today, my chest hurts all the time, I'm either being sick or feel sick, I have cramping pains all day in my stomach, my sides hurt...so why do I keep taking tablets? I should be at the hospital now, but what is the point for them to attach me to a drip, ask me if I will do it again and if I will be safe tonight, yes of course 2nite I will be safe, but tomorrow I will probably do it again, I will take another <mod edit-methods>, maybe more. I will continue to take the tablets, Its got to the point I don't even know why I'm doing it. Do I want to die, yes because I'm not being heard, i'm shouting but nobody is listening, at least that's how it feels.... my cpn told me, that people have and had it worse then me, which i am more then aware off, and feel guilty about everyday and all she done was add some more guilt. I've had enough of people not listening just because I don't sit there and cry, if I cried they would probably here me, but because I don't.....oh it can't be that bad. Maybe once I'm dead they may realise that actually things were tough, that i was struggling, that I was reaching out and being pushed away.