why?

I had my life in order had two good frinds was working on my masters had a committed relacionship but then one of my frinds killed himself my wife sliped into what ill call a coma to savw time typing so I had to drop all my classis so I got straight f for this semester witch means no more school and now my gf is acting like she is 3 diferint people. so now I am hevely ingaging in self harm again and am home less siting behind a mc donalds on my cell phone waiting for it to die. why do I even boughter trying to fight any longer why is it that every time I I think I am gping to be ok gvery thing gos down the tolit? what is the point in living if you will never know happiness? I mean I cant even sleep anymore because I am home less and my clouth is staned I am afread a cop may find me and lock me up. what am I soupose to do why cant I just live? am I relly the mounster that people fear in the dark? am I such a waste that I don't deserve some wear to lay my head? whay can I not chang this?

 

Go to a shelter or project for the homeless. Ask for help.

 

I can not go to a shelter I was baned for life for putting my fist throw a wall but thank you for the ida.

 

I mean evin if there was help what is the point maybe I can start getting my life on track but it will just all fall apart again.......................................................................

 

where is it anyone elshs place to tell me what is evil or wrong? straighten up and fly right thay say its not that bad thay say carry on thay say its all n your head thay say. well what if it is all in my head this is the only head I have to live in right now. why can thay rell me I am a danger to myself then hunt me and lock me up like a animal.

 

Have you substance abuse problems?

 

I do not I have not tuched anything in years

 

sorry im just being stubin and wining. mod if you read this please delite the thread

 

Be stubborn about getting help. Whining is comforting but you need to find shelter and help to get back on your feet. I wondered about substance abuse as the reason why you were barred from the shelter. Are there any other ones or day projects. There are a lot in the city I live in. Some are based at or run by churches and are open to all of any faith or none.

 

There is help out there my friend. You found us here at SF and that is a good place to start. You and only you can change things. Please keep choosing to fight, things can get better :hug:

 

what about trying other shelters