Why?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Caighan, Dec 13, 2006.

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  1. Caighan

    Caighan New Member

    Why is everything so fake? I dont want to be mean to people but seriously why is everyone so fake? I mean here I am thinking about ending it and not one person i know notices something different or wrong. I can tell them about problems in my life i can try and talk about whats bothering me. And they dont hardly bat an eye to help or show that they care. yet as soon as i say i dont want to go on everyone is nice and supportive and says oh dont do that its not worth it. you will find a way to pull through. and every one is so god damned nice it almost does me in right there. And once again i dont want to be mean but honestly people you all say the same thing. And i am sure it helps some people but it all sounds fake to me. Why cant you be nice and supportive and tell us that we arent repulsive or stupid when its just an average day. If what you say is true about us then dont we deserve to hear that all the time instead of just when we issue the magic words of "I am thinking of killing myself?" what is so special about those words that all of the sudden makes us into people that can be loved? are they truly magical that for some short time you guys see us differently? If i knew or wrote to you to start a friendship and it wasnt under this context chances are you would have just blown me off? so i ask you again why is everyone so fake when it comes to this? Or is it that you are all fake normaly and now you shine through? then i ask why cant you be real all the time. its the fakness that really makes me want to end it. sorry for the bad grammar but i really dont care much anymore.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You've got a point Caighan, only one person on here ever has asked me how I was. Including that fact that I'm stuck in bed with a slipped disc and he's the only one to ask me how my back was.

    It's sad that you have to be in crisis to get a look in, but thats the way the cookie crumbles.
     
  3. Caighan

    Caighan New Member

    So did i scare you all off or just hasnt been long enough to expect replys?
     
  4. ALB_JRS

    ALB_JRS Guest

    I don't get it
     
  5. Caighan

    Caighan New Member

    whats there not to get unless i am mistaken which forgive me if i am. From my point of view no one is responding because i called them out for being fake. If this is wrong then i apologize and hope you will feel free to reply and explain all this to me.
     
  6. Obsessive

    Obsessive Well-Known Member

    Pretty much everything about people feels so artificial to me right down to the fake friendly smiles. I'm not sure it's something a lot of us are able to help and many people probably don't even realize it. Whenever I'm talking to anyone other than my parents and therapist I almost become a completely different person.

    This world is so complicated. >.>
     
  7. amee

    amee Active Member

    Over the years I've found that being one of the few genuine people in my own life has been incredibly unrewarding. I expect more emotional intimacy than other people are prepared for, and get surprised when they're more distanced than I thought they were. Maybe you're in a similar situation.

    People here have a lot on their own plates. How come you're not on here making a post about how you're concerned about everyone, asking how they're doing, saying -- in a sweeping, community sense -- that you care about them and that you're here if you're needed?

    Because you're depressed. You're sad, and lonely, you feel distanced, you feel ostracised. Quite often tricked and devalued.

    I can bet you a lot of people really understand those feelings, but they aren't really feelings that immediately lend themselves to association with others. We get pre-emptively angry about it, and feel that if we brought it up, it's just another way to highlight fake responses.

    All you can do is seek people out. You can't expect them to do it for you.

    --A
     
  8. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Oooh, that's an interesting response Amee... :blink:
    And sorry for not replying sooner, but I only just saw this thread :laugh:

    People ANYWHERE are notoriously self-obsessed. That is the human condition. We go on in our own little lives...and as long as everything *looks* ok around us, mostly we don't bother to look under the surface.
    And then you add depression into that equation. Somehow, depressed people...can be both self-obsessed and community oriented, or should I say, either. When you are in a deep depression you can be so utterly consumed in your own pain that you are the only thing you can focus on. You might *want* to help other people, but if you try once and feel like you didn't, you just think you're even more of a failure; or you mean to, but you just can't bring yourself to read posts that you know will just make you feel worse, or feel so bad *for* the person without being able to help at all... And then you have the people who ignore their own depression and try to be there for other people as much as they can, to the detriment of their own health, and yet people still expect more. I know people like that. It's like there is no way to win...either you try to save yourself by not getting involved, or you get so involved with other people you ignore your own feelings.
    Perhaps this is also, then, applicable to non-depressives?
    What I mean to say is this: People can be fake, certainly. But I don't think that's the reason you feel nobody talks to you unless it seems really urgent, a desperate situation. Because they're either trying to help and protect themselves (the reason why, let's face it, the majority of us came here in the first place - for help for ourselves), or because they're trying to do so much all at once that people do get missed, and no matter what they do it's still not enough, and people still blame them for not being there.
    I guess I hope this gives you something to think about as well as answering your question.
    Take care :hug:

    Lauren

    P.S. In response to "If i knew or wrote to you to start a friendship and it wasnt under this context chances are you would have just blown me off?" - if you had sent me a PM or email through this site, about anything - on the contrary, I would have replied.
     
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