I had a good childhood, a very good childhood until age 12, it went very downhill from there, I can't even list every thought and emotion I had, but let's just say very horrible ones.
People did say ''things will get better'' ''life will improve'' tomorrow is a new day'' . YES that was true, life did get better, then bad again then up again, it consists of ups an downs, for me that is life, you cannot give up you have to keep trying harder. Good things don't come easy! Yes bad things have happened to a lot of us that of course we did not deserve but you must find it within you to keep those thoughts at bay, maybe through meds and therapy, maybe naturally, or maybe you just need to keep finding distractions, giving up is never an option because this is an illness. A treatable illness. You have to keep fighting and I am glad you posted here because at least here you can talk about it and get ideas and support from others who understand. Don't underestimate your abilities. We weren't born to suffer, we were born to fight.