Why?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Gmetz21, Sep 26, 2014.

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  1. Gmetz21

    Gmetz21 New Member

    I don't know what's wrong with me.
    I have a wonder family, home, life, parents, I have had straight a's my whole life. And I feel suicidle. I don't understand. I always feel like I'm failing or not good enough. I feel like nothing in life will be good and I will get all f's the rest of my life and I will fail collage and everyone will be disappointed. But I have no reason to feel this. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I'm crying while writing this. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
     
  2. I can almost guarantee there is a stem to your problems. You do have a reason to feel this way, you're just not willing to accept it yet. In time, your mind will likely explore the problem.
    Hang in there, you're not alone. I have a deep fear of failure as well. It's tough. I think the best thing to do is celebrate the victories,, no matter how small. You may be a straight A student but do you ever celebrate getting an A? Do you ever feel proud if yourself for doing so well? - food for thought
     
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You feel low as you do not want to disappoint the family if you fail at college. First you must remember your family are more important than exams. PLEASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING BUT REMAIN Calm. Courses and exams can be retaken. You are young (I am assuming) and you have the rest of your life to live.

    Yes, your parents will be dis-appointed but do not worry. They will understand and look after you. The pressure of exams is hard especially when people have high expectations of you. It does not matter and do not worry. Please keep posting for support from this forum.
     
  4. Velvetina

    Velvetina Member

    There is something that made you feel this way - could be something a long time ago that just hit you so badly that you've never been able to let go of it even if you couldn't say exactly what it is right now.

    You just have to remember that occasionally you will fail at something. Every single person in this world does. And when it happens that isn't going to be the end of you doing well, you can pick yourself up and learn from it. You mentioned college, which is this massive unknown and I know that for me it became of focul point of when my life could go irreversably wrong. It seems like this huge thing that you can't control. But while it is important (and scary - I was terrified!) it is also amazing and you will have the best time of your life. One bad grade won't mess up everything. I didn't manage to get straight A's at college but I came out with a great result.

    Have faith in yourself, which I know is tough, and people here will always support you.
     
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Velvetina, is right. The last sentence rings so true.... Thank you Velvetina for a wonderful and supportive post.
     
  6. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    There is nothing wrong with you. Even celebrities face this challenge.
     
  7. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    Clinical depression can hit anyone at any time/place. How long have you had these thoughts? It this a recent development as you are getting ready to set off for college? Did something happen to you at some point earlier that have given you these thoughts?

    You definitely need to find the root of the problem before you make yourself sick. There isn't a reason why a straight A student should feel they are a failure and will do badly in college. It could very well be that as you get ready to take the next step in life that an unhealthy fear has overcome you and caused irrational thoughts. My biggest suggestion is to seek help in a councilor. Maybe a counselor can help you get to the bottom of these thoughts prior to school. Talk to you parents about it even. Get this under control. You don't have to feel sad, or hopeless. You don't have to feel like a failure. Look at all you have already accomplished and know that you can continue on. But if you can't change your thoughts by yourself, you really should speak to someone who can help you break your sadness. Best of luck my friend.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, you're thinking very negatively, they ''say'' but I don't know 'cos I didn't even finish highschool.... that studying sucks but gets so much better at college,you sound very smart and you have great potential. If I were you I'd try and see a counsellor and continue your straight A's. Do you have any idea what you would like to study in college? My sister hated school, she went to a private school and was there from 9AM to 9PM, she was very moody all the time, but now has her law degree and is doing her masters and loves life a bit too much lol.

    The key is talking, talk to a friend, a teacher, counsellor, family and if you need you need to see a doctor then do so, but no giving up as I said you have great potential, best of luck :hug:
     
  9. Gmetz21

    Gmetz21 New Member

    Thank you so much everyone. I think the root of my problems are probably all the pressure I feel from my family. My dad never STOPS talking about how I HAVE to get good grades and have to keep studying every day to do well in life. And sometimes I feel I'm not completing that task, and that I will be a failure and my mind has no positive thoughts I don't think about how I have straight a's I think about what if I fail the next test, what will happen, will I ever recover? My parents would be so disappointed In me, I'd be better off dead. But these feeling are on and off. They usually happen AFTER I take a test and all I think about is the worst scenario possible. Again thank you for the replies. I needed this help.
     
  10. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    While is may feel like pressure, it sounds more like your dad is trying to inspire you to succeed. And he is right, doing well in school and furthering your education will get you farther in life. Don't take it as pressure, take it as encouragement. Let me ask you about your parents. Did they go to college? Do they struggle with jobs or finding success? If that is the case they are pushing you so that you don't struggle. If they are successful, they know how much easier things can be when life isn't a struggle and are pushing you for greater ease later.
     
  11. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    Your parents only want what is best for you, but doing so they are putting some extra pressure on you and you are suffering a lot because of that, you need to talk to them and explain what you are feeling, they love you and I bet they will support you, it's not a bad ideia to get some counseling also, I assume that you are still very young, at this point counseling could really be great for you, it could help you understand that it is normal to fail sometimes, we all do it, it's a normal part of our growth as humans, counseling can help cope with failure, because that is a fact of life, sooner or later we will all fail at some point, you need tools to learn how to deal with this.

    From a far I can say that you are a perfectionist with a great fear of failure and this is causing you a great deal of anxiety and stress, in the long run this can turn into clinical depression, so I urge you to get help before that happens.
     
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