I am 20, ever since I came out of psych ward in 2013 I havent been myself, I was in because I had a psychotic episode and took an overdose. I find it hard to open up to anyone I have bottled things up for years. I dont hear things or see anything anymore, Im not suicidal, I am flat, have very little emotion for things, I have lost interest in things I used to love. I cant remember things I used to either its like some things have been wiped. I find it hard to go out by myself especially when its dark. I do get scared quite easily and I dont even like going about the house at night. I am always being asked if im okay or whats wrong by people, I stay quiet alot because I regret things I say or I feel really stupid. Sometimes I feel like bad things are going to happen and its quite intense. When I leave a room with people in it I sometimes think they are talking about me as soon as I leave. Sometimes I feel as som eone is watching me but thats not all the time. My moods change from hyper, quiet, annoyed and angry, sometimes I end up being distant or getting mad with family or friends when they havent done anything wrong. I dont sleep til 3-6am and dont sleep through the day. I feel the same when on antidepressants and antipsychotics and I feel the same when im off them so either way im still the same. I used to selfharm when I was 10 til about 16 and told nobody up until 2013. I havent been diagnosed with anything so I would like to ask if any of this is normal atall or am I still recovering? I have good days and bad days.