I am feeling suicidal and there are things in my life that I am looking forward to. My niece was just born today, and I have a very good friend getting married in March and I am involved with wedding stuff. I don't understand why today of all days I am so suicidal. My medication has been helping a lot with my suicidal thoughts but today is as bad as it was before the meds started helping with that. And I don't know why!