Why

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by na-taya, Aug 30, 2016.

  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Why am i expected to suffer through this?
    I just cant not do this.
    life is just not meant for me, i am a object not made for this planet.

    Im reaching out for support and talking about how i feel, its not helping the situation any its making me feel worse in fact.

    i just cant do this.
    i am not strong enough
    i am to weak for this battle that rages on inside of me.
     
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. Yes you can do this. Think of all the other times that you pushed thru. You are strong.
     
    calvinandhobbs likes this.
  3. Cronus

    Cronus Member

    First of all, think about what you hate most about your life. Now, is this part of your life changeable? Now, think about how to change it and work towards the goal of removing this negativity in your life. Keep doing this and things should improve for you :)

    Hey na, I'm also from Australia :) And I happen to work in the childcare field (have for the last 4 years but I'm about to change). Just something we both have in common ;)

    For me, having to work each day to stay alive to pay bills etc is what gets me down the most. Obviously I'm not expecting money to be handed to me for free, everything I've saved I've earned myself. But I'm solving the situation by attempting to achieve financial freedom. Could you imagine, waking up each week with say, $1,000 deposited into your bank account and you not having to work or be somewhere to earn it? Well, if you work towards it, this could be your life. Waking up each morning deciding to do what you want to do, money doesn't have to be earned anymore! You could work if you wanted to, help out your neighbours, write a story, help others in need or just relax each day. The point being here is that you don't HAVE to be anywhere or wake up early to go to work. Would this be the kind of lifestyle for you that would make everything ok?

    If that's right, the next step is to work towards it. For example, save, invest etc until you have enough to buy a property instead of renting to get your expenses down. I'm a Sydney guy myself right now but I'm moving away to somewhere cheaper as my mortgage on a tiny one bedder apartment in Sydney is driving me nuts. Let's use Glenorchy in Tasmania near Hobart as an example here. Buy a house for 200K to live in and another 200K house to rent out for $250 per week. Now you have about $100 per week to live on safely while you continue to grow and invest the other $150 per week in rent (use the $150 extra to pay bills and maintain the properties, anything left over save towards another investment). You will have to live frugally if you stop at just one investment property but if you are happy with the freedom it brings, GO FOR IT! Each one you get becomes faster and easier to obtain than the previous one. Plus, property isn't the only investment type out there :)

    Obviously the above advice is very dumbed down but hey, it's meant to be simple, otherwise it would be too long to read and get way too complicated for a little forum post. Note, it will take years to get to financial freedom but once you reach it, if it means spending the rest of your life happy don't you think it's worth it?

    That was just an example of solving one potential issue or annoyance in life, think of what it is in your life and work towards solving it. I wish you the best of luck, don't ever give up. Although I've never met you, I do feel for you and care about you. Good luck in changing your life for the better :)
     
  4. SA76

    SA76 Member

    Hi Na-taya, how are you going?
    First day of Spring in a couple of days for us :)
    Take care. Message me if you would like.
     
  5. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Thanks Cronus for such a detailed reply, I don't wanna seem like I'm arguing with your point or you........but I can't think about investing in property or all that jazz heck its not even about if I get any of that stuff. I have been working on myself for the last 14years and trying to achieve a level of comfort I'm hapy with in my life. Im just stuck my wheels are spinning and I'm trying to change and pull myself out as best I can but is all seems to fail. I'm just stuck on how to help myfel right now coz reaching out and talking arnt helping.
    Sorry I appreciate you respond and time I really do please don't think that I don't. Thank you very much for you kind words.

    Rockclimbinggirl and you so very much for your beautiful words. I'm sorry but I am not strong, is who I am or I'd be able to cope with this:(:(:

    SA76 I'm not doing to well my head space is a mess Im doing tings I know I shouldn't just to feel something other than misery. I'm safe tonight I am bird sitting so yeah have to keep 4 cats away from a bird. But I am very happy to have a bird for a night:). Just can even begin to explain the exhaustion right now.

    Thank you all so much for the responses I appreciate them a lot, my head is just not in a nice place.
     
    Flo77 likes this.
  6. blacknblue

    blacknblue Well-Known Member

    na-taya, we are both here and both safe tonight. We will both just hang in there for tonight and see what tomorrow brings - cos that's what we do and how we do it together. You are not alone, not ever, I'm always here with you. Try to sleep na. Tomorrow will look better, if only slightly, it will look better because you survived the night. Thinking of you. bnb x
     
  7. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Oh bnb how I wish tomorrow would bet better knowing I survived the night:(:(:( but the won't make me feel nice not right now. Sleep I havnt slept well in ages (I'm working on it) I average 4 hours a night got 3.5 last night I've had a busy day I'm shattered I'll take my sleep meds and try sleep.......thank bnb it hurts to know that you are suffering in such a way also, iyts no fair on younanf youndont deserve it not even a little bit, know as long as I'm around I will always be here for you, and if you believe and would allow me in I'd be around after I'm gone watching over also.
     
  8. Daniel016

    Daniel016 Member

    Hey na- taya,

    I am new to this forum and trying to get more engaged in the conversation here. I can say that, for me, being too strong was my down fall. I took on too much at one time back in 2011 and broke part. I was not strong enough to ask for help or even see how to cope with trying to take my life. You have strenght and it shows because you are here. You will make it out. Just remember that you never alone in this fight. :)

    Dan
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    <3 <3 <3 You know how much I heart you but just reminding you angel that I am always going to be your best friend so you are not going anywhere, it's not allowed :{ Icare about you too much. I hope and pray you start feeling more alive and well, soon :)
     
    calvinandhobbs likes this.
  10. calvinandhobbs

    calvinandhobbs Well-Known Member

    Oh, hon, you are strong! I've been following you. You make me smile and give me hope.
     
  11. SA76

    SA76 Member

    What are your plans for today?
    Yesterday i tried to do the distraction during the walk then i got distracted from the distraction !! haha
    But i did go to a support group, my first time - that went kind of well.
     
  12. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I don't have the energy or brain power to reply to each one of you right now, so please don't think I'm being rude.

    Dan I just want to say thanks for choosing me to engage in conversation with I appreciate that, I still struggle with it.

    Thanks so much everyone I appreciate it
     
    Daniel016 likes this.
  13. calvinandhobbs

    calvinandhobbs Well-Known Member

    No need to for me.... Just know I have your heart and love up here beside me and giving Canadian tlc
     
    na-taya likes this.
  14. Daniel016

    Daniel016 Member

    Morning Na- Taya,

    Thank you for warming welcome since I am new to forums and decided to not be hesitant. :) I also struggle everyday with getting back associated with life. I am currently in a fairly new relationship with a surprisingly very supportive girl friend that I had the pleasure of putting through my last attempt. It is in my genetic make-up to care and I try everyday to show her, as well as, the ones I interact with. Hope your day is going well.

    Dan...
     
  15. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear you ha e a nice missus for support that good:):)


    Today is worse than yesterday.........I rang my cm but she wasn't in so gonna call me back. Fu *k this.

    Once I'm finished babysitting No body will be expecting to hear from me till Monday..

    This could be intresting
     
  16. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Making it through the night is proving to me quiet hard for me.....I've been hanging around here most of the night an I am greatful for those I have spoken with.

    I'm not even sure she this "cheek in" phone call is gonna happen.

    I don't know what to do anymore*cry*
     
  17. calvinandhobbs

    calvinandhobbs Well-Known Member

    Smooches and hugs. Xoxo