I don't get it.. why is all this happening to me, some beleive in god or karma, well, if so then are they giving me what I deserve, do I deserve this? Why is it there's constant change? was constant relocation (due to step father being wanted ) and abuse, sexual, physical, verbal(started at 7), then there was a man from the internet who raped me, a guy in the street(14),Sexual abuse, and menipulation, and cultic brainwashing from a man started at 12-ish and he stopped about a year ago when I was younger a 18 year old boy sexually abused me, a 44 year old man tried forcing me to have sex with him, he got me back though, he got with my mother to get at me (was 14 then btw), then ofcourse the occasional horney asshole that forces themself on you that you barely get out of. ... then ofcourse people you know the only people who would accept you goes to jail or takes off because there shady.. I've not done anything why? then the people dying... great unckle, great grandmother, a ex fiances step father, Kevin died (i think it was suicide), my grandfather, step grandparents (I still visited them even though the horrible things their son did to me), Kathy died (step sister), Harold died (he was a 87 year old man who lived in an apt by me, and he was ver indepent at that age, was a truck driver until he was 80, but he'd bring me food and take me out to dinner and if he saw me walking he'd insist he drive me where ever, because a lady should have to walk, I miss him, he was a sweet old man, he died of cancer), Dalene died the 14th of this month, I told her last I saw her to move to these apt's here and I could check on her daily and she could have a nurse come help her daily, I saw it in the paper, can't even go to her funeral, there will be none, says she's just getting cremated, Dawne died not too long ago she killed herself, my grandmother won't be around much longer, my father's parents are sick, my grandfather has cancer, and my grandmother is 86 and has heart problems and has been in the hospital, louella, Goerge, Nola, Vern, <-- family friends.. all the abusive relationships, the divorce, and still have to watch out for ex's that are dangerous... I have been on meds since I was about 6 years old, they had said I had depression, ADD, but now my attorney I saw yeaterday looked through my files for the disability case that were all the way back to 5 years old, she said reading notes it looked as if I could have been mildly Autistic as a child... I don't know I have so mant mental health problems and physical problems, and might become homeless soon, there's so much, there's been other things that've happen a lot more along with a house fire and etc SO MUCH MORE, I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!!!!!! I can't take this anymore.