Why????!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Apr 19, 2007.

  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I don't get it.. why is all this happening to me, some beleive in god or karma, well, if so then are they giving me what I deserve, do I deserve this?


    Why is it there's constant change? was constant relocation (due to step father being wanted:mad: ) and abuse, sexual, physical, verbal(started at 7), then there was a man from the internet who raped me, a guy in the street(14),Sexual abuse, and menipulation, and cultic brainwashing from a man started at 12-ish and he stopped about a year ago when I was younger a 18 year old boy sexually abused me, a 44 year old man tried forcing me to have sex with him, he got me back though, he got with my mother to get at me (was 14 then btw), then ofcourse the occasional horney asshole that forces themself on you that you barely get out of. :mad: ... then ofcourse people you know the only people who would accept you goes to jail or takes off because there shady.. I've not done anything why? then the people dying... great unckle, great grandmother, a ex fiances step father, Kevin died (i think it was suicide), my grandfather, step grandparents (I still visited them even though the horrible things their son did to me), Kathy died (step sister), Harold died (he was a 87 year old man who lived in an apt by me, and he was ver indepent at that age, was a truck driver until he was 80, but he'd bring me food and take me out to dinner and if he saw me walking he'd insist he drive me where ever, because a lady should have to walk, I miss him, he was a sweet old man, he died of cancer), Dalene died the 14th of this month, I told her last I saw her to move to these apt's here and I could check on her daily and she could have a nurse come help her daily, I saw it in the paper, can't even go to her funeral, there will be none, says she's just getting cremated, Dawne died not too long ago she killed herself, my grandmother won't be around much longer, my father's parents are sick, my grandfather has cancer, and my grandmother is 86 and has heart problems and has been in the hospital, louella, Goerge, Nola, Vern, <-- family friends.. all the abusive relationships, the divorce, and still have to watch out for ex's that are dangerous... I have been on meds since I was about 6 years old, they had said I had depression, ADD, but now my attorney I saw yeaterday looked through my files for the disability case that were all the way back to 5 years old, she said reading notes it looked as if I could have been mildly Autistic as a child... I don't know I have so mant mental health problems and physical problems, and might become homeless soon, there's so much, there's been other things that've happen a lot more along with a house fire and etc



    SO MUCH MORE, I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!!!!!! I can't take this anymore.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 19, 2007
  2. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    Nobody does anything to deserve what comes to them...Least of all not you. Methinks all that karma stuff is bull...
    Know this: You're a wonderful person; kind, caring, empathic!!

    Life has dealt you a rough, rough hand...And, you're dealing with it pretty well! You're a strong person! I would not have lasted through half of what you went through...

    All I can say is, keep fighting! I really, really, sincerely hope that things get better for you!

    If you ever need an ear, you know my MSN. Take care! xx
     
  3. I'm still here, Carolyn :hug:
     
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    ah Caz hun :sad:

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  5. Viper

    Viper Well-Known Member

    I agree with syiah. There is no karma. Sometimes people think there is because occasionally there will be something good happens within a short amount of time of something bad happening, but it's just coincidence and doesnt even happen as often as there not having something good happen from something bad. Carolyn, you are one of the coolest people here. I have never had any problems with you and I'm sorry that shit had to happen to you. Some things are beyond peoples control. You just have to accept that cuz it's the way it is.
     
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    The sooner your attorney sorts out this damn claim the better:mad:

    This stress is too much for you Caz!! Hang in there its nearly over.

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    My attorney is setting up a supplimental hearing, will be a conference call, but the attonet said it'd be 4-5 months before that even happens, look as it could be another year, so....... *sigh*