" Only, you know, I can't believe in any of that anymore. I know that it's all random chance," Why do you not believe in that anymore? How do you 'know' it's all random chance? I need explanation.
Do ya'll remember the end of 'Forrest Gump' with the feather and debate whether life is fate or choice? Basically the movie said it's both, and that's what I believe. If life is random chance and their is no 'payment' for choices made in this life, than all of life from beginning to end would be meaningless, because you would die and those who remember you would die also. So I'm not saying it isn't a possibility, I'm just saying we'd be living in a pretty stupid universe to have no meaning whatsoever. That's how I look at life, that basically I don't care if there is 'retribution' at the end or not, I'm still going to be me whatever happens.
I also believe this; no matter how smart you are, no matter what you've experienced in this life or will experience, no matter what you've seen or have not seen, we will never, never be allowed to know the full meaning and outcome/reasoning for everything on this planet, if there is one. It's chasing the wind, so I don't bother anymore. And I think it was purposely setup that way. Sometimes in life you have those 'aha' moments where you feel you matter, like you're making a difference by being here. Than other days, you pretty much just feel things would just keep spinning no matter what you do, like the most insignificant speck of dirt in the universe. This is why I hate people deeply (hmm, how should I word this?) involved in organized religion, who claim to 'know' everything and have their own twisted reasoning behind it also. Maybe sometimes somethings just don't have an explanation, you know? And that's ok...
Just another thing making me look forward to my death day; So I maybe can find out 'Where's the beef?', 'Who did let those dogs out?', 'Am I related to Yoda?', and things like that.