just lost everything. the story of my life. what else am i going to lose. i don't think i can take much more. my whole post went out into the blue nowhere. oh well, what is there to live for. my family isn't here. i have nobody here. someone i care about and like alot tells me i love you, and; why? what is there about me, in me, or anything else to even like? i'm tired. life...death...drugs...being clean...sleeping...eating...feeling...caring...breathing...thinking...walkin... talking... i'm tired of just being. life sucks. i am a slave. i goto work, come home, goto work,come home... nothing else. i'm tired of it all. what is even worth living for. why let ppl get close? so they can rip my heart out and shred it up. that's all that will happen. i know it. thats all thats ever happened. hust my luck too. what is there about me? i can't think of anything for any one. all i am is absket case that doesn't know if i am coming or going. what is there about me that is even being friends for. can i please get someones permission to go and get some heroin. or meth. i'm tired of being clean from drugs. i want to shoot dope. that is waht a dope fiend does, shoots dope. the only two things i've ever been any good at are being a dope fiend and getting arrested. those are the two things i know how to do well. thats it. what is the meaning of life. misery, hatred sorrow, remorse, guilt. what is the point? i'm terminal and am scared to the treatment for hep c. why, so i can live for an extra few years in this msierable body that is my holding cell. why? who will miss me. who will care. how many ppl would really show up to my funeral? hopefully none. do i care. no. can anyone give me a reason to live which i won't be able to come up with excuses, reasons, rationaliztions, and justifications against. the only thing that is keeping me going right now is remembering the feeling it gave me in my heart when she said i love you. but, the question i ask myself is WHY? i can't think of any. any good ones that are worth a shit.