Why?

[lil-sis-one-of-two]

What the fucking hell is wrong with me, why am I still here.

I had it all planned,now I am going to have to go through another day in hell.
I am at work again, I hate work, I am not sure why i even come. Its not because I dont like my work or the people I work with, I just hate everything about my life and this is part of it.

I just want to go now I am ready, what the hell is stopping me.

I cant take this pain anymore, I have tried I really have. I have tried the drugs, the crisis team and I am still waiting for the councilor to bloody ring me (SHows how much see care)

I am not even sure why I am writing this, there is so much going on inside me.

I cut this morning, it felt so good i wish that feeling would last forever but it only lasted for about 5 minutes then I can crashing back down to hell.

I seem to be ranting abit now so I will end it here.
Please dont feel the need to reply to this, I know I am beyond help.
Sorry for wasting your time if you have read it.

I love you all and I am sorry.

(I hope you never read this but if you do, you are partly to blame for this, you said you love me and ypu would protect me from him but you are not you have run away like the spoilt brat you are, I never thought I could love someone and hate them at the same time but I do you!)

 

[lil-sis-one-of-two]

Is anybody there, I am going through hell!

 

[jonstark]

:sad: :hug:
We do love you and you are not wasting our time!

 

[lil-sis-one-of-two]

Someone plase take me away from this, I can't take it.

I need tio know what to do, I am cutting but it isnt helping.

Nothing is helping.

I have pills, I want to take them, they are in my bag.

 

[jonstark]

Please try to go to sleep naturally. Maybe you'll be better tomorrow.
You are not completely alone. You have the people here!

Please get better :hug:.

 

[lil-sis-one-of-two]

Ok well, I would like to thank everyone for your help in the last month.
You are all amazing people.

It is all too much now.

More and more stuff is going wrong.

I cant get batter I am beyond help.

See you all, good luck

 

[jonstark]

What are you planning to do?

 

[lil-sis-one-of-two]

We cant discuss methods on here, but i need to go I cant stay here anymore, I dont know why I am even replying to this.

I am scared the pills wont work, I dont want to live

 

[jonstark]

You shouldn't take too many pills.
Maybe you could call an emergency line instead!

 

[Fishman]

we do care about you!

 

[lil-sis-one-of-two]

I don't care about myself.