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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    This isn't aimed at anyone 'cos even as I am typing this I know that no one has the answers that I need...
    I mean nothing against anyone who is or has been abttling cancer. Just trying to rant my feelings out before I explode...

    Why her? Why MY Nan? Why that night? Why cancer? Why did I leave the room? Why the person who ruled my world? Why so young? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

    Did I do something wrong? I mean, we had to have done something to deserve this. I don't know how, but it's my fault I know it.

    Why the most caring, loving, funny, sweet Nan in the world? Why not someone who stole? Someone who beat their kids? Someone who did bad things all their life? Why my beautiful Nan who never did a bad thing in her life?

    People live into their hundreds now-a-days. 68 is no age at all. Why did she have to go so soon?

    Why did it have to be so complicated? They thought they were going to be able to operate on her. Why did it have to be so intertwined? Why so close to vital blood vessels and things?

    Such a horrible disease. Such a horrible way to go. So what did she do to deserve it??

    Why not me? Or someone who wants to die? Wh someone who enjoys life so much and has so much still to do? Why someone who fought with every single fibre of their being to live?

    So many people recover from cancer. Why couldn't she? Who sits and decides who gets to live and who doesn't? What did those people do that my Nan didn't? Why did they get another go at life while hers was taken away from her??

    There's probably more to come but I have to stop before I cry....
  2. Dare to Dream

    Dare to Dream Staff Alumni

    Sam I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry for the way that you are feeling. I wish that I could answer your questions but unfortunately I cant. Just know that it is ok to cry. Just know that you are not alone. You have many people who care for you and who love you. Lean on them when you need them.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thank you hun :hug:

    Appreciated :hug:
  4. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    sorry to hear about your nan, but now she is a angel, and she will be watching over, you and now she is closer to you then ever she can see everything, and she knows how much you love her. that is important.
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I really hope so :cry:

    Thankyou :hug:
  6. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    sam :hug:
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thank u hun,

    hugs are needed :smile: