I've been depressed, suicidal, and unable to feel emotions for so long, and when I went off to college for a while it was better. Now it's all rushing back, and I'm lost in waves of listlessness. I don't even want much sugar anymore. I just want to lie down and stop existing. Why? Why can't I just shake this. Why can't I be healthy and happy? Why does this happen? Can I please just go curl up in a dark corner and the rest of the world can go on? I'm so tired.