Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by lost_child, Jul 1, 2008.
why was I raped and abused? why?
No one can really answer why things happen because they just do. You never really know what life is going to throw at you, the only thing you can really do is find something to believe in and rise above what happens. Just remember that with time things get better.
No one knows why, but it wasn't your fault :hug:
Because the rapist knew he could get you on your own. He knew that you trusted him. He planned it.
This is why.
Which part of this shows that it was your fault?
I think you will find none of it does.
My Brother and I went through puberty much later than our peers. Two or three years. If we weren't getting teased and harassed about it in high school my Father, in addition to constantly physically abusing us seized upon this vulnerability to further satisfy his insatiable thirst for sadism.
In my case he would frequently plant himself on the toilet as I was showering before going to school to, as he so gracefully explained "take a dump". I would beg him to come back after I dried myself and put on at least my underpants. He would then say some version of "You're going to make us all late, ******. Get out of the f@#^ing shower homo!" I would always plead for him to leave but was forced to get out naked and towel dry my undeveloped body while he stared and snickered. I tried not to cry because it would only cause him to call me a homo again. This thankfully was as sexual as my abuse ever got but it hurt much more than his fists.
My Brother and I were put through dozens of similarly dehumanizing humiliating scenarios thousands of times. The people who've harmed us are personality disordered, intellectually knowing what they do is wrong but unable to feel remorse. I don't know what can realistically be done because a thousand years from now there will still be people like this. I am to this day despite years of therapy paralyzed socially. I'm tremendously sorry to hear your similar misery.
No one can answer the question of why me. I had someone answer that one time with "Why not me?" I guess one makes as much sense as the other. Perps pick out people they can sense are vulnerable. It is as if they have special radar or something that allows them to zero in on us. The important thing for you to remember is that you should carry no guilt or shame that those things happened to you. You were an innocent victim. :hug: