It has been a really bad year so far, i was beginning to get myself back on my feet when my parents come back into life and tell me they are getting divorced and its my fault. Everythings started to go wrong, again, i dont know what to do. Half the time it feels like my heads spinning round and round, things stop making sense. My thoughts are consumed with how much I wish I wasnt around anymore again, Id managed to have some parts of the day again when I wasnt thinking just of killing myself. My CPN has disappeared, my consultant psychotherapist has gone away for the next month and my other therapist has left. I have no one to to call to talk to and tell them that my head has started to spin again. Im on meds but they dont seem to be working, i feel like i just want to scream again. The last time i was sectioned i was stood by a bridge, they all asked me since then what stopped me climbing over and jumping, i made out like i just changed my mind, well its coz ive got short legs and couldnt get over, well i found a way on the other side of the same bridge to get over, they're all perfectly content to think im fine again. Guess I am, the question is what is stopping me now from popping a load of tranquilizers and jumping. Im sick of always being this damn miserable.What scares me is the fact that all this is building again, like a pressure cooker and there doesnt seem to be anyone around to help me, or is that selfish, i guess it is.