Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Starlightx, Dec 24, 2008.

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  1. Starlightx

    Starlightx Member

    So I guess I'm just...thinking.

    A boy I know was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors, and there's not a great chance he'll survive. He's thirteen years old; his mother's dead, his brother has a heart condition, and his father's out of work. He might die, and I know he would do anything to be able to live.

    Yet here I am - healthy - more or less begging for this to end. Nights are when I'm most suicidal; I constantly think of ways I could end it painlessly...I don't want to hold on, don't want to keep fighting. I feel so selfish for wanting to kill myself, when others are fighting for the chance to live.

    I feel...like it's only a matter of time before I end it.
  2. bitterTears

    bitterTears New Member

    sigh...i feel like that sometimes. sometimes i just dont understand why god takes people that need to be here...people that want to be here, over people who dont. i'll never understand that.

    but you still have to hold on

  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    Just one more of life's ridiculous gamble.

  4. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    The more we don't want to be here, the more we should be put here to learn. And for those who are fighting for a chance to live, they need to know how to let go, and not be scared of death. We are immortal souls..and we're scared of death? Come on..
    There's no need to feel selfish either.. it's all about preferences. You are the one that place the value of your own life, just because someone think it's important doesn't mean that it is for you. You win, you win; you lose, you lose.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello starlight,

    Don't feel guilty just because you are suicidal. Depression is an illness just like any other and needs the right treatment. Have you seen a doctor for your depression? :hug:
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Lynn is right. You shouldn't feel guilty. It isn't your fault that your depressed and feeling this way. Please don 't end it because of this :hug: We are all here for and care about you.
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