that every blessed time I really try to do things to make things better they never change. That everytime time I try so hard it never changes and I end up hurt more and further down then the last time. That even though I want to get better I cant. That no one seems to take me seriously even when I'm at the end of my rope. That nothing really truly honestly means fuck to me anymore. I'm not going to make it to my promise. I kept hoping and looking for a better solution, but this just keeps standing right in front of me. Why!!!!!!!!!