Why?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by frozenprince, Mar 7, 2010.

  1. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    What the hell did I do to make everybody hate me so damn much? All I ever do is try to be a good person, to help people. But it’s never enough, all they ever want from me is more, and when I can’t give them more they just leave me. I’m so sick and freaking tired of being alone.

    Why is it that no matter how hard I try to make things better, they never get any better? I just want to crawl into a hole. They call me weak; they all treat me like dirt then laugh when I cry.

    I just don’t think I can deal with it anymore; I just want to give up, to make it all go away. But I’m too much of a coward to act on it, to tell them how much I’m hurting. Even if I do they won’t listen, nobody ever listens.

    I know this isn’t making much sense, but I’m trying to, my head is spinning. Instead of trying to get to know me, of talking to me, they send me to an institution; pump me full of meds. I can’t deal with it; I don’t want to deal with it.

    People call me weak; they think I’m just some pathetic little ****** emo boy, but I’m a human being damn it. I just want ONE friend, ONE person to talk to. I guess its just a pipe dream, I’m so damn pathetic, I have CONVERSATIONS with a FUCKING VOICE in my HEAD.

    I don’t think I can type much more; I’m kinda fading in and out right now.

    I just needed to vent, I don’t really care if nobody listens, I’m used to it by now.
     
  2. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Technically, we all have conversations with voices in our head. Our mind is an endless conversation. Sometimes, that conversation can go overboard. You should try to listen to silence sometimes. Just listen to the sounds around you, preferably silence and try to turn off that inner noise. As for everybody around you, maybe you should talk to them. If not, realize that great minds always encounter opposition from others. Be true to yourself, don't worry about them and their drama. Just focus on getting better.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I talk to myself all time it helps me think clearly There are lots of people who will listen here give them a chance okay post whatever you want and people will help you talk with you you are not alone here.
     
  4. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    Things are much clearer now I can focus and think clearly so this will make more sense.

    I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm so sick of feeling like I just don't matter, even though I know its the truth. My depression has eatin away at my self esteem, and the people laughing at the fact that I feel dead doesn't help things. I just feel isolated, cut off from anybody who would ever even care. I really just feel cold right now, and I don't have much time to type this, so I will type later.....