why

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ballinluig, Jul 12, 2010.

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  1. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    why am i bothering. i dont want to carry on.
    if any of u are mums u might understand the total love u have for ur child.

    my hubby and i took one of our boys down to grannys as hes stopping there the summer. we left our oldest son at home.

    well the house was trashed, someone wrote his car off, we only bought it 2 weeks ago. hes lying to us, something i didnt think he wud do to me, his dad yes but me.....

    hes got a bloody great big love bite on his neck. never had a girlfriend b4. he told me to fuck off and he didnt love me. al my trusts and heart has gone.

    hes just broke me in two.

    i dont want to carry on, my husband doesnt understand how hes hurt me. stuart just lost his temper at connor anfd threw him out.

    i dont know what to do. i feel so numb. so hurt. just the pits. i wish i was dead
     
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    ((Hugs)) I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering momma. Hang in there, and once things cool down a bit you and your husband can sort things out. Teenagers are hard to understand, I would take all of my concerns and hurts to Yahweh in prayer. You know your son loves you, he is just going through a phase, and he needs discipline when he comes back, but positive discipline. PM me...You are never alone. Blessings..
     
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I am sorry this has happened can I ask how old is he? Maybe once the dust has settled can you sit down and talk to him. Please keep holding on in there and talking to us

    Take Care

    Rich
     
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Please do not give up hope, although he seems to reject you at the moment you will always be his momma, rock, and safe place to go to. By showing him your love through your hope and determination in believing in him, and you patience in dealing with this stage you will find that he will be grateful later in life, and even now though he doesn't show you. I know the first thing we do is blame ourselves when our kids are diobedient. And it may be true to some extent, but we are human too, and make mistakes. We can be successful humans by learning from them, and building our character by them as well. You are needed still and will always be. DON'T GIVE UP!
     
  5. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry . I will pray for you. Maybe you need to spend time with some friends for a while and get away from this.We will help. Just get all your pain out here and we will help. Maybe a good therapist would help. We will listen and ofer hope and love. I care. We all care,

    write me if you like,

    Marty
     
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Donna. I'm so sorry that your son has hurt you so badly. He is just being rebellious and maybe now has a girlfriend. It's part of growing up. Don't let his actions get the better of you. He doesn't hate you. He is just acting out and looking for independence. Please don't give up. :hug:
     
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry Donna you have to deal with that...being a Mum I understand what it can be like....
    maybe the fact that he has been thrown out will make him see the light so to speak...
    don't hurt yourself because your son needs you to be there for him when he comes to his senses...I hope thats soon for you...
     
  8. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    thank u my friends. connors back home. he went to work yestoday for 2 hrs and has gone again today. i know 16 is a hard age to be and it was his first time to have the responsability of the house and he said it was hard. its just the lying that is so bad. hes only got till 6th september and that him off to collage. it just worries me sick. hes got to go away to collage so we'll only see him at weekends but thats so much more to take on. will he be ok. will he be able to cope on his own. will he be up in time for collage, will his 'digs' be nice and clean and feed him properly. yes i know silly things but to me its a bloody big mountain for me to cope with.

    i dealt with last night through sum extra meds, took some extra seraquel, and slept all night. this morning im just numb still. i look outside at his car and think why he did that? stuart, my husband knows im suicidal and when i took my meds last night he said dont take too many! so just went back when he wasnt in the kitchen. i think today im going to write to my psychiatrist and say im not coping.

    but it sure helps knowing someone has read my post and has actually took time to respond. thats so kind
    donnax
     
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Donna. I'm glad to hear that things are ok for the most part. Maybe if you gave Connor some more responsibilities, it will help to better prepare him for when he moves out and goes off to college? He needs to be able to survive on his own and you have to be comfortable with him being away and knowing that he will be ok. At lest you will see him on the weekends. :hug:
     
  10. Teryan

    Teryan Active Member

    I'm not that far from his age to be honest, but just remember this, that whatever happens your son will always love you because you are his mother. I would agree to what Dave_N said by giving him more responsibilities and he'll survive when he goes off to college. Be strong for him, because one day he will realize that you've been a good mum to him and your younger son
     
  11. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    We're here for you Donna. You are in my prayers. I think you are SO strong!!!! I admire you!!!!!!!!!


    Write if you like,
    Marty
     
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