Why?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mr Invisible, Jul 26, 2011.

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  1. Mr Invisible

    Mr Invisible New Member

    I chose Mr Invisible because that's exactly who I am, I am 29 with a 5 year old girl. My ex left me over a year ago and I sacrificed all my interests and friends so that we could buy our own place. I am now left paying the hefty mortgage with no friends and I get to see my little girl a few nights a week.
    I know it doesn't sound too bad, I have a good job, and in ok health, but I am shut away in my office all day, to go to an empty home each night with my phone ringing or a knock at the door.

    The only thing that stops me is my little girl, but I am working my socks off just so I can spend precious few hours with my daughter. I can't move away and start again as I would see my daughter even less and all I think about is at least one day my daughter will inherit my flat. Like I have to remind myself that I am only 29. I took insurances on my mortgage purley so if I ended it she would get the full value of my place, so I ask myself, what am I waiting for? I guess it's knowing that she will be brought up correctly.

    But it's got to the point that it's not enough anymore, I need some time for me, a life, but there is no way I can see to get that anymore with barely no money and no circle of friends.

    Sorry for the rant, I am so lost inside but having to keep a happy face to avoid any questions, to ensure I go carry on undetected.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU are NOT invisible to that little girl hun you are her dad her life okay
    she will be affected greatly for life if you left her in such a way. I know my father left when i was 5 Please reach out and get some help for YOU okay to get the sadness to go away talk to your doctor hugs
     
  3. Payje

    Payje Member

    Just think of your little girl and how much you mean to her... If yor lonely t your house have you considered getting a lodger? It will help wih te cash flow too :)
    If your in the uk a good website is spareroom.co.uk but I'm sure there are other versions in the US

    "Hold on although you’re exhausted and your grasp is shaky, and you want more than anything to let go. You are beautiful and things can only get better from here, much better"
     
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