Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by hopeless, May 21, 2012.

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  1. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    i find myself feeling guilty for not giving my husband one more chance. i worked with him 12 1/2 years. i suffered through his moves and his angry outbursts (though only once was he violent towards me), his cheating to get rid of me because of his fear of committment, and he suffered with me everytime i cut or tried to kill myself.

    now we have two young children 2 & 4. i told him it is over. he is thousands of miles from the kids and me. i know it is best, but he keeps trying to convince me to not divorce him. he went to one marriage counseling session and said he gave up. he canceled the rest and doesn't have any desire to go back.

    he moved us around the country so much that my daughter keeps asking why her daddy keeps moving her. she misses her friends and i am just tired of moving. how do you respond to a 4 year old asking why she can't see her friends that are hundreds of miles away, and then tell her she is going to have to move again and leave the friends she has just made?

    the last straw came when we separated. he started seeing other women and sending out pictures of his penis to them. i found a condom and he stopped telling me where he was when he should have been at home. he says he didn't cheat again, but i can't believe that with his history.

    why do i feel so guilty? like it's my fault. i could have done more.:sad:
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I cannot answer your question, but I am so` impressed how brave u are...just wanted to tell you that
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your hun have no guilt here ok it it all his doing I hope for you and your children sake you walk away now and start a new life for them and you hugs
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    done more to save the relationship you mean? I can't see how. What you describe is similar in a lot of ways to the reasons my own parents divorced many years ago. He's cheated on you (multiple times?), lost control of his anger in your presence, moved your family around so much it is damaging the psyche of your daughter, says he wants to get back together but cancels marriage counseling. This is not your fault. It's not.

    Your children matter so much more than he does. You did the right thing to break it off.
  5. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    thanks. i needed that. sometimes i just get so discouraged and down that i can't see the big picture anymore. thank-you to everyone for your responses
  6. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Not your fault at all. It doesn't sound like he has even made any attempt to work with you. You did the right thing by leaving him. In the end, you will both be happier, and your children will be happier too. They'll understand once they're old enough. No need to feel guilty! You did everything you could and gave him every chance to make things right.
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