Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Jun 19, 2012.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Why must I feel?

    This Pain, the Hurt, the Sadness, Stupidity and Shame are overwhelming.

    Why feel when the result of doing so results in an internal massacre of thoughts?

    Why do I try?

    The results are causing only more harm, more frustration and more idiotic actions by self and others.

    This afternoon I am struggling and smothering, almost overpowered.

    Why breath?

    I'm not sure.

    Why did I go from heaven to hell in this one day?
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Stupidity and shame - why do you think you have those thoughts Mo?
    You try because you are strong.
    You try because you want to make progress, and you are doing though you are having a setback.

    Did anything trigger these feelings today?
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Windlepoons -

    I thank you for always being there, always responding and caring.

    Please take care of yourself, you are a wonderful person and of course, thank you. :hug:
  4. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I know it is not much a consolation, but you think of these things, feeling pain, sadness, stupidity and what not as a positive thing. You are able to feel these things because you are alive and that is something that you should be happy about.
    The fact that you try means that that no matter how difficult things get for you or anyone else for that matter, you keep on trucking. I do not know about you, but when you find yourself pushing on when things get bad, then you show yourself that you are stronger than what you give yourself credit for. Be proud of that, at least.
  5. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your feeling so down :hug:
    You sound like a very smart person, just seeing your spelling on the forums, so I don't think your stupid :)

    Hang in there, and if you want to go into more detail on here or PM, I'll listen!!!
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    dear Mo.....:console:
    always so hard on yourself..
    you're such a kind ,caring and intelligent person...:wub:
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mo, I am so sorry that the pain is as excruciating as it is. Pain that likely is greater than any I have known. Although I know that when I am in intense pain, my thoughts about, assessment of, myself are far worse. I hope and pray that the pain will ease a bit soon. I dont know the hell you are going through now. But I do know that you are a good person. I have read enough of your words to know this. Please take care of yourself.
  8. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Mo I just saw this now. :hug: :hug: :hug:
    Its ok to feel... let it out ok you can see how many people care for you. I am so sorry you are hurting, I am so sorry for everything thats happened and everything you are having to go through, its awful & it sucks & is totally & completely unfair. Just through everything please know you are not alone I care we all care about you for you & everything youre going through...
    Sending hugest gentlest hugs always xx
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