Why's it so hard?

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Valis16

#1
I want to hang myself tonight. That's what I'm going to do. But I keep picturing myself slipping out of the rope after my brain is half fried, because just when I thought I was over my fear, I log on to SF and start reading aftereffects. Bad idea. I'm not even considering my elaborate overdose plan anymore. So, it seems I was blessed with the desire to die but not the proverbial guts. This is a goodbye to everyone on the site. My scared ass is going to be dangling this evening.

~Valis
 

kennroe

Staff Alumni
#3
This is a pro life site Death71, please dont discuss or suggest methods.

If you wish to discuss this further feel free to PM me.

Thanks.
 
#6
Valis16,

I've had a similar experience. I know it hurts. When I was in it I felt abandoned by everyone, even God. I raged at God. When the bad situation went on and on I began to feel as if it would never be any different.

Somewhere along in there I heard a passage of scripture that went like this;

See, the winter is past,
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their
fragrance.

I didn't think much of it when I heard it. But it began to work itself down into me. And so I began to look for the end of the bad. I had a friend years ago who used to say that his philosophy was: "This too shall end." He waited for the end of the pain. He believed that it would come and it always did.

A big part of bringing the awful time to an end is love. I felt deserted. But when others began to hear about my pain and the danger I was in they began to express their love. It was a great help to me. One of my brothers began to call me almost every evening. Another brother called and expressed his love to me. And he had never called me before in his life.

I am sure the Lord has someone that he is preparing for you. That person will love you and convince you of your worth and special qualities. The Lord created you just as you are. You are unique. You are special to Him. He has some really wonderful times ahead for you. Just keep waiting and looking.
 
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