Ok, so I fell off the tobacco wagon in recent days and started smoking again. Funny how it coincided with my recent bouts of depression and suicidal ideation. Wife cornered me on that last night. I told her that my smoking was indeed an error, but that I was pretty sure it had to do with my depression. She stated last night that the depression was just an excuse. Wife stated that if I am suffering from depression I need to make an appt with a pdoc or I will loose my family again. She stated she isnt going to go down that road this anymore. I asked her this morning how my depression hurt her before, and she said she didnt know. I dont have the time to miss from work or the money to go and see a pdoc. Plus the meds are terribly expensive. Hell I cant even get in to get my foot taken care of. She denied this morning that she gave me an ultimatum last night, but still she did. I can't talk to her about things the way I can talk to u guys. She always like to threaten me with the family. It would be nicer if she supported me and my music, but I knew from the start that would never happen.