Wife Is Threatening Me, Again!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Godsdrummer, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Ok, so I fell off the tobacco wagon in recent days and started smoking again. Funny how it coincided with my recent bouts of depression and suicidal ideation.

    Wife cornered me on that last night. I told her that my smoking was indeed an error, but that I was pretty sure it had to do with my depression. She stated last night that the depression was just an excuse. Wife stated that if I am suffering from depression I need to make an appt with a pdoc or I will loose my family again.

    She stated she isnt going to go down that road this anymore.
    I asked her this morning how my depression hurt her before, and she said she didnt know.

    I dont have the time to miss from work or the money to go and see a pdoc. Plus the meds are terribly expensive. Hell I cant even get in to get my foot taken care of.

    She denied this morning that she gave me an ultimatum last night, but still she did.

    I can't talk to her about things the way I can talk to u guys. She always like to threaten me with the family.

    It would be nicer if she supported me and my music, but I knew from the start that would never happen.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, sorry you're having trouble like that. :hug: It's so hard to explain to someone else what depression does to us - especially if they haven't experienced it themselves. (Maybe that's why you find talking to us is a little different than talking to your wife.)

    At the moment, it sounds like both of you are pretty "emotional" - and as with any emotional situation, our perceptions, decisions, words are not always rational or well-thought out. So, before letting your emotions rule this situation, maybe you could step back and later, try to see her side, your side, and how BOTH of you need to support one another.

    There's some good lit on some sites that talk about what depression is and how it affects people - the victim of depression and their loved ones. I'll see if I can find some links and I'll come back to post them in this thread. Maybe if you find a quiet moment, you and your wife can read the info and talk about how you will work together and take each other's perspective into consideration...

  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    would your wife consider taking councilling therapy so together you can learn how to support each other and she would understand what depression does to someone. I think couple councilling is the best way to keep everyones voices heard.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Thanks Acy.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    :hug: Sorry she's not being very supportive.
  7. spyke

    spyke Well-Known Member

    i'll apologise in advance if i seem rude or opinionated as i'm sure you're a decent guy and all and love your wife:

    it's reading things like this that only serve to reinforce my misanthropy

    to see a woman acting in the cardboard cut out stereotypical way and using a family to get her husband to "snap out of it" is like trying to beat out the flames on a person who's on fire with a sledgehammer

    she would do better to get off your case and let you continue providing for her and your family and support you and be thankful i'm not her husband for many reason's i wouldn't feel right posting here as i certainly wouldn't be acting with the decency you are

    my advice is exactly what any friend of your wifes would say to her if the roles were reversed

    you need to stand up to this vile woman who seemingly treats you like you're there to be an uncaring cash machine with little regard for your emotional well being

    just think maybe if this sorry excuse of a person was actually showing you the love and support you honestly deserve as a person maybe you wouldn't be feeling so low

    now if there is anything you find offensive in this post then please feel free to let me know and i'll edit it accordingly but really it's scenarios like this that really get my goat