I'm a solo practitioner attorney in a rural area. Have had my own firm for almost two years. Business is slow. Money is a huge stressor for me right now. We're able to pay the bills (barely). When I receive calls reminding us that a certain bill is due, she interrogates me, which upsets me. I understand she's worried about losing everything, but that's not going to happen (I hope). Her birthday is this month, and I asked her what she wanted. She said she'd like to go on a weekend trip. I said cool. Then she texted back, forget it, we can't afford it now, and gave me very low spending limits on our birthday and Christmas gifts this year. I've told her that I feel like a failure, but she says she doesn't think of me as one. She may not say it, but I know that's how she feels. She's made other comments to me about money. When I went to law school, I think she expected me to be rolling in money, and that just doesn't happen in our area. Anyway, I feel very depressed about it. I visualize dying at least two dozen times a day, especially when I lie down at night to go to sleep. I tell myself I am useless, and a waste of space. I don't know that I'd kill myself, but this past year has brought me closer to it than ever. She'd get my life insurance at least.