Wife walked out

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AwayInAManger, Sep 16, 2010.

  1. AwayInAManger

    AwayInAManger New Member

    I am so unhappy, my wife has walked out after we have been together for 10 years, she is my soulmate, i cant believe she has done this. We are talking and she says she does not know whether she wants to come back, i am scared and confused, all these thoughts are going through my head, i dont want to lose her. But i think i already have, she said we should take space for a while and now its 3 weeks, but i miss her terribly,

    I hate myself at the moment, just want the pain to end. I know its not definitely over, but each day we are apart i think that she is going to run away and blame me for all her own problems.

    I love her to bits and this is killing me inside, she has stuck with me through some bad times as i suffered a bit with depression, but recently she has started to withdraw and her family say she is depressed (and i got the blame for that too as she "felt" she was supressing herself by not going out as much when we moved places).

    She is living with her parents at the moment and most of her clothes are still here and other stuff. I love her so much and she knows it, but she says that she is terrified i will return to my old ways (not going out etc).

    I hate myself at the moment.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope she gets help for her depression and maybe suggest you both go for marriage councilling together so the marriage can be stronger. Ask her if that would be a good idea to help you both okay
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    my mate of 8 years left me last year, too.
    It's an unbearable hurt to deal with alone... so, please- if you're hurting, go to see a doctor or talk to someone.
    Talk here or to a friend and get it all out if that's what helps you even a little bit.
  4. AwayInAManger

    AwayInAManger New Member

    Yep, its just hard, today is her birthday, i bought her a load of stuff to show how much i care, she is depressed and feels i cant handle her depression as i have suffered myself in the past. I wish she would talk more as i understand better than anyone what she is going through instead of walking out.

    My mind is so screwed up from this, i desperately want her back, but dont want to push her away by seeming too needy.

    Her mum says she is depressed, feels she is surpressing herself by staying in all the time, i think this is not the real cause, she is just depressed and is blaming everything around her for it, even if you were out every night you can still be depressed, you just hide around other people who are having a good time.

    She said one day she is scared and i didnt understand what that mean until depression was mentioned by her mother.
  5. IAD121212

    IAD121212 Well-Known Member

    I was in EXACTLY the same boat as you back in April this year. After nearly ten years my 'soulmate' left suddenly. She too said at first that she'd be gone for a few days to think things through... this became a few weeks... She gave me all these impossible things to do before she'd come back - basically she wanted me to be happy and cheerful and optimistic and enthusiastic. Impossible for someone like me...

    Now I realise that all this was just delaying tactics. A couple of months after her moving out a mutual friend let slip that my 'soulmate' hadn't taken long in getting engaged to someone else. At this point I was past caring.

    It's now September and I'm still here. Still pretty pissed off at her and women in general (but that upsets some people so I won't go there...) and occasionally feeling suicidal. But I am better than I was back in April/May...

    You're not alone. If you want to PM me I'd be glad to talk about it with you.

    Oh yeah. Don't hate yourself. Hate HER for hurting you. It helps, trust me.