Will anyone please respond

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by robroy, Oct 11, 2015.

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  1. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    I'm having a bad moment right now and am resisting the urge to hurt myself a little, I havent in along time but the urge is really strong right now. One of my roommates and close friends has been giving me the silent treatment for a few days now and it really hurts a lot. I don't have anyone I can talk to right now and it would mean a lot if anyone could respond, I just need to connect to someone right now. Thank you
     
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey robroy, I'm here, if you want to talk some more go ahead and I'll listen. Please don't hurt yourself, I know that urge is strong but fight it. Why are they giving you the silent treatment, do you know?
     
  3. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    sorry my phone keeps freezing up and forcing me retype my messages , thanks for responding it might take a little while to get my little story down. I'm close friends with both my roommate and Her ex boyfriend who also used to live with us before they went through a bad breakup. She's still heart broken about it and asked me never to let him in the house even if she's not there because she doesn't want to risk seeing him again. He called me while I was at the last week and I was running and trying to process some difficult emotions at the same time so I didnt really think twice about giving him permission to run into my house to grab some money I owed him while my other roommate was away. However she found out about it and now is completely avoiding me, she won't even look at me in passing or answer my texts. My other roommate talked to her for me yesterday and told me that she's still just cooling down. It just hurts hearing her downstairs talking and laughing with my other roommates like everything is normal.
     
  4. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Im an extremely over sensitive person, it's something that Im planning on seeing a therapist about soon, so it doesn't take a lot to trigger these sorts of feelings in me, but I've never really hurt anyone before and I'm not used to anyone being so angry at me, especially someone I feel very close to and care about so much. I'm alternately feeling guilty for betraying her, hurt for being shunned, and also a little bit angry just as a side affect of being hurt.
     
  5. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It sounds like a difficult situation to be in. From experience, if you are going to keep in contact with both of them there is likely to be jealously or animosity towards you even though you have done nothing wrong. Unfortunately it's a sticky situation and as you are living with the roommate, it's probably best to not let the ex come round at all. As it was an accident (and she wasn't home anyway) I'm sure she will get over it soon, just let her know that you were at the gym (I assume gym, you left out a word) and were trying to let off some steam so you didn't think anything to letting her ex in to grab the money you owed him. How did he get in without a key anyway? Or does he still have one? Anyway, just have a sit down with her when she's calmed down a bit and say you owed him some money, you were at the gym and you completely forgot in the moment when he rang you. If he didn't stay long then say that. Also, how did your roommate find out? It will pass robroy, don't worry. Just give it some time.
     
  6. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Thanks Cicada, some other roommates were home so the door was unlocked, I don't know if one of my roommates told her or if her ex told her since they still have some contact through txting. The problem is she wouldn't answer when I knocked on her door or respond to my txts asking if we could talk so I could apologize. I guess she sees it as a betrayal, sometimes she says she thinks I'm "on his side" when I really care about both of them, and she had explained to me twice about how she really didn't feel comfortable with him in the house. I really don't know why I didnt think in that moment, and I've just never had anyone shut me out like this before.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Oh! Trust me I know the feeling. Sorry to talk about myself but I fel it's relevant in this situation, I went out with my friend last week for her birthday, i could tell she was disappointed with the gift i got her ((which was a beautiful photoframe and perfume) ffs, what was she expecting a mercedes?! I have been getting the silent treatment for a week. I'm sorry for the situation you are in, with it being your room mate it is a sticky situation. Would you consider askng them right out why the silent treatment?! I hope you feel better soon.
     
  8. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply Petal, I actually really like to hear about other peoples stories, they make me feel a lot less lonely and help me relate to other people. I'm guessing the silent treatment is mostly because she feels like I ignored her on purpose and she's trying to find the right thing to say to me, that and she's still pretty mad and wants to cool down before she talks to me so it's not too much of a confrontation, we've never fought before in the past so this kind of an awkward situation for both of us.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hope ye can works things out and that it is not too awkward! Let us know how it goes robroy. I hope it goes well for you. I love hearing other's stories too, helps to relate to others
     
  10. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for listening, it still hurts, but I'm sure she'll come around eventually. I think I just needed to feel like someone cared about my pain, which you guys gave me, so thank you. I'll keep you updated on how things turn out.
     
  11. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Good luck robroy, hope it turns out okay ((hugs))
     
  12. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    robroy, jeez man, I am sorry, I just saw this post now? where was i never never-land? would you smack me on the side of the head and tell me to pay attention?? (just joking) I would cry! Actually you would think twice I think, I am 6' 2" about 200 + I am not a little guy!
    I hope you are doing better today, It sounds like you had a rough time of it for a while, any time you get real down or just need to talk pm me if you feel comfortable doing it, if I am here I will answer! Take care of yourself, I will back you up anytime! We are here for you! besides that, it will make me feel important!
     
  13. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Haha thanks I still appreciate the response TrueLee. I have those moments pretty frequently for a variety of reasons. For a period in my life my immediate reaction was to want a drink in those moments, then for a long time it was suicidal fantasizes, now it's self harm, which I havnt done in a long time but the urge to has been returning lately. I'm I still in the same situation I was in yesterday unfortunately but now at least the harmful urges are a lot weaker. I'll make sure to pm you or sombody else here if they come back again too strong.
     
  14. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that you are getting the silent treatment, that is such an awful feeling. Two things I hate are being ignored or abandoned by people. It is something very hard for me to cope with. I am also a very emotional person. When you said you wanted to resort to drinking or self harm to block out the feelings, I really related to that. But it's only a temporary release so not worth it to hurt yourself. I hope that you will continue to reach out here in your time of need. Sometimes it helps just to type out your thoughts and knowing that there will always be caring people there to listen. Hope you feel better soon!
     
  15. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

     
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