This is just a little rant at my life and the world that we live in. I got everything ready, my letter, my pills (hope they work) just need to buy some strong alcohol to get me going. I only have limited amount of pills so I hope they are strong enough to knock me out of this life. I don't know when I will attempt it but it won't be long, the weekend is on the doorstep and having nothing to do, death doesn't seem bad. I'm only 19 but have been depressed since my childhood, I never had a really happy moment, where I can look back and truely say that I was happy. Social anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts were all part of my early life. So that's why I'm so fucked up now. I tried to get help but emailed the therapist telling her that I hate phoning people and asked if I could arrange a date for therapy via. SMS but all she just told me was to phone her. GOD, how fucked up is this world if not even a therapist can understand my needs?