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Will I ever be good enough?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by whoaaxxsamm, Aug 8, 2010.

  1. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I want peoples opinion; both make and female.
    Are there guys out there that are willing to be with me?
    I have major depression and anxiety.
    Not the worst thing someone could have.
    Are their people out there that want to be with someone like me?
    That want to both help, AND love me?
    I know that I would be with someone despite of mental illness' such as my own.
    Are their others that like to help like me out there?
    I'm just so tired of being lonely. I don't want to be alone.
    I just want to know, is there any hope for me?
    Ever since I was old enough to realize what marriage was..
    Ever since I was old enough to realize that my parents were divorced..
    I've wanted to get married and spend the rest of my life with someone..
    BUT, who in their right mind would want to be with me. :(
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    From what you say in your post, I don't think you will have too much problem with that.

    I could insert a few platitudes but I'll save the pointlessness.

    Anxiety and depression can cause problems, but it's not anywhere near an end-game issue.
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I don't believe I'll ever so much as befriend anyone without one mental disorder or another. I don't know how it works, how I'm such a beacon for schizophrenics and bipolars and anxious people, but I'm okay with that, and I do the best I can to help all of them.

    If I knew you I'd help you, and if it happened I'd love you.
  4. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys.
    I don't like to think of myself as a bad person, but I often do.
    I think it's more than just depression and anxiety.
    It feels that way, for some reason.
    I feel it should be so much worse because of the way I feel.
    Boys run from me. It's embarrassing.
  5. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    In a way, my mentality has helped me see the other side of life. The side of life I would have completely over-looked if it wasn't for the situation I'm in.

    I'm interested in a person for their 'entirety'. Whether they're depressed or anxious, I don't really mind. If I like them, I like them.

    In the end I think because of my situation I've become a more caring person :) :hug:
  6. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    I fear the same things! Always on my mind! I think I could only be with somone who understands my situation!
  7. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Nothing wrong with having problems and being in a relationship, as long as you don't let the problems control the relationship.
  8. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    It wouldn't put me off.

    Normal people are so boring.
  9. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone. :)
    It's nice to hear some of those things.
  10. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Hey hey hey, what country are you in? If you live in New Zealand and are in your 20s I'd be interested in meeting you. Can't make any promises of course (for all you know you might not be attracted to me at all). But have you ever tried dating websites? I'm surprised that you are female and haven't got a partner, generally men have a lot more trouble getting girlfriends than girls finding boyfriends.

    I've sort of felt the same, chased the same girl all through high school and she ended up getting married to another guy in our first year of university. Since then I've been rejected by six other girls and it's definitely made me come to the same conclusions as you - e.g. Who would ever love me? Etc. And you know, I'm 25 now, and I've never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, makes me pretty jealous too.

    I hope this doesn't come across as rude but sadly humans are quite shallow and the key to a man's heart is your looks. We've sort of been raised to believe that looks don't matter because it's what's inside that counts - but often men won't look into a girl's heart unless she gets to him through her looks first. Are you good looking or not really? It's a lot harder to find someone who won't judge you by your looks unfortunately but those people are still worth looking for. I came across this quote and it sort of made me try to live on in my times when I felt like ending my life 'cos I thought what's the point:

    "Most people are never going to die because they're never going to be born. The potential people who could have been born here in my place, but who will, in fact, never see the light of day, outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinaries, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state, from which the vast majority have never stirred" - Richard Dawkins.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2010
  11. No_Life

    No_Life Well-Known Member

    Yes! i dont really see why depression or anxiety should be a bar to relationships, if you want to be with a person then you have to accept their flaws too. so yes, if i knew you and liked you, you being depressed is the last thing that would stop me. i think everyone i have ever really wanted to be with has had some form of depression or bipolar.
  12. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I'm 18, and I live in Canada. I have had my fair share of boyfriends, kisses, all that junk. They all left me because of my depression, half of which used me. I think I might be pretty, if I were skinny, but I'm not. It's hard to lose weight, because of the depression and the binge eating. It's an addiction. I know love is not the most important thing in life, but everything revolves around love. So in the end, it might be the most important thing. I just want someone to want me. I'm just emotional, that's all, but thank you for the reply. I appreciate it. :)
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think the person that judge's you harshest is yourself, and you project those judgements onto others. So for other people yes, you will be 'good enough', but the issue appears to be that maybe you feel not 'good enough' yourself?
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I'm sure you will find someone to love you eventually Sam. :cheekkiss: