Will I ever meet someone who can love me?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by wibble, Jan 28, 2009.

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  1. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    Right, objective question. I have been trying to meet someone for many years now, and I have tried literally everything to meet someone. I have learnt from the best and the worst and all I seem to come away with is the fact that people can't get past how I look.

    Now, anyone who's read many of my posts will know I go on about this a lot, and I think its a fair point. Im 5'8, 230 lbs, 42 inch waist, big jowelly cheeks, trebble chin and recessed jaw, nose is off at an angle and pig like in appearance. I get spat at in the street, its that bad. (and yes, I've been thin, I look even worse)

    I've tried internet dating and all i seem to meet are people who just exist to play headgames (and my last girlfriend, who defrauded me of £1000). And obviously, I can't start a relationship with anyone in person because:
    A: They can't get past how I look
    B: Im too nervous to speak to people because of how they judge me
    C: I've even stopped leaving the house unless I have to.

    Now, recently I got LJBF'd (Lets Just Be Friends'd: I abbreviate it, it happens so much) and I got spoon fed the usual bullshit and doublespeak:

    Womanese: "Its not you, its me"
    Trans: "It is you"
    Womanese: "Im not ready for a relationship right now"
    Trans: "At least not with you dipshit"
    Womanese: "I'm focusing on my 'career'."
    Trans: "My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting then you'll ever be."

    I'll admit, its a pretty cynical way of looking at things, but its how I happen to feel about it. I look at the idiots I see upsetting girls I care about and I think that, honestly, were I to be given the chance, I could make someone really happy.

    Im 25, I dont really want much out of life, I just want to meet someone, fall in love, have kids and not end up going on Jeremy Kyle. Im just starting to wonder if thats too much to ask for. I'll be the first to admit I've done some crappy stuff in my time like killing my best friend, beating the shit out of someone who sold my friends sister drugs and loads of other crap, but I believe deep down Im a good person. I just want to be happy and it seems like this is too much to ask for.

    So my question is this. Will I ever meet someone who can look past how I look and see me for who I am? I honestly don't believe theres someone for everyone, and if I somehow do nothing someone will appear eventually. Do I just keep hoping or should I just accept the fact that Im a monster?

    PS: Pics wise, Facebook me and you can see them, im not shoving them up on here.
  2. mollypop

    mollypop Guest

    Homicide is tolerable. Just don't leave the toilet seat up.
  3. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    upping for replys from people who arent trolls
  4. qyzzyx

    qyzzyx Guest

    Any luck yet, wibble? Don't let your weight stop you, a 1,244 lb. man got married last year.
  5. Ummm did you literally kill your best friend? Murder? Because As a woman I could put up with a lot of shit from guys, but murder is not one of them.
  6. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about women, I am kinda like you and I used to feel sad about not having a girl..but now I realized that its better to be single and secure then with someone horrible...The last thing I'd want is having to worry if someone would stab me in the back or not.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey wibble you should really eat right and loose some weight.. Most women don't like fat guys.. Yes I am fat but have started eating right and lost 16 lbs. so far...I'm not saying get skinny just find a happy medium for your size..As far as looks they don't matter to some women, it's attitude and if you are a nice guy.. If you have a good personality and just be your self then yes you have a chance of finding someone to love you back..A positive attitude draws people to you. A negative attitude pushes them away..As I said just be you!! Take Care!!
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Wait a second, are you 'Trans' there?


    Who exactly do you think you 'are' and what are you attempting to get women to see, behind the looks, you feel is the only thing that is causing your isolation?

    And did ya kill your best friend? Beat up someone? I don't think your weight is the only thing that might be offputting to a potential partner. Your appearance is no excuse for people spitting at you in the street but ...I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
  9. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Fat is good! :smile: more to love
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yup all body shapes can be attractive to different people, but I think... there's a lot more going on with wibble than just his weight. :dunno: Just my thoughts though.
  11. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    So many people seem to base everything solely on looks. I guess this has always been something foreign to me, because I'm visually impaired; my sight isn't good enough to see how ANYONE looks. The most I can see is if there's a brick wall a few inches in front of me, and I usually see it just in time to realize I'm going to walk into it.

    I do have to say that this kinda freaked me out:

    "I'll be the first to admit I've done some crappy stuff in my time like killing my best friend ..."

    That's not something you can say and then just breeze on past like it's nothing. I'm not trying to be mean here, but that sentence alone would scare me away from someone!! Everyone has a past, but murder is ... SCARY. So I have to ask (and maybe it would be better if you answered in a PM, I'm not sure), but why'd you kill your best friend?
  12. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Wibble I totally feel your pain - you almost described my situation exactly.

    Don't give up, because there ARE women out there who are not entirely shallow, I promise you.

    I know it's easier said than done and I hate it when people say to me 'just up your confidence and you'll do better with people', yeah... how the feck do I do that then why my so called friends all treat me like dirty and the ugly duckling and guys won't look at me twice.

    So now I'm trying other avenues like trying to fix my career and my life in that way, maybe if I have a lot of other things going for me, I can move away from those who are bad for me, like rubbish friends and with any luck I'll meet a guy who actually wants me.
    But there's a lot to be said from feeling good about yourself lookswise (weightloss, change of clothing and style, hair etc.) something I'm working on these days.

    As for the killing of your friend - something tells me you're possibly blaming yourself for something that wasn't actually your fault. Am I right?
  13. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....my opinion only

    i once fell in love with someone. . . and admittedly it was on the net.

    but. we were not on a dating site. we became friends. we never exchanged pictures. or descriptions.

    bam.. i fell in love. and it did NOT matter what he looked like. i fell deeply in love with his heart and soul.

    i still hold. . . this thought. what if you were in a relationship. it was your soulmate. she/he was injured in a horrible accident. burned/damaged - irreparably. alive. . . but hideous looking

    would you stop loving them?

    this man. he could have looked like the hunchback of notre dame . . and he would still have my heart forever. .
    love - its eyes see only perfection . . .
  14. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    good luck finding a man with impossibly high standards like that!
  15. EyesOfTheWorld

    EyesOfTheWorld Active Member

    Yeah, um, until you explain the thing about your best friend (and you might not want to do that on the internet if the case is still unsolved), people won't really be able to give advice as they won't know if you are a murderer, or if the death was an accident inadvertantly caused by you, et cetera.
    Assuming you aren't a psychopatic killer, when you get older, women stop caring as much about looks, and more about personality, and, yes, money. Not to say that women are golddiggers but they want someone who can help provide for the family if you end up with kids and so forth.
    You say you are fat, and you've been thin, and neither look works for you?
    Try something in the middle, lose some weight bu not so much as to be scrawny and see how you look then.
    But, yeah, the murderer thing can turn off women. too. If it was an accident, totally different story
  16. EyesOfTheWorld

    EyesOfTheWorld Active Member

    No, I would not stop loving her. looks might attract a person in the beginning but it's personality and compatability that keeps them together.
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