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will i ever want sex again??

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by baby.bop, Jan 6, 2008.

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  1. baby.bop

    baby.bop Member

    i was raped twice in october 2006 by an ex boyfriend, it was my only experience of sex. i told my current partner that happened and we have had sex 3 times since, but i have never wanted to and there have been long pauses in between those three times. i want to make him happy and he never has a problem with just going to sleep but makes it obvious he want more, and i want to give it to him,

    i dont know

    what helped you finally enjoy sex again?

    if you do at all
    please dont let me damaged forever.
  2. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to SF :smile:

    First, don't beat yourself up about it. You've been through a lot and need time to recover emotionally from that. I don't know how long (it's all raw for me :sad:). Do you have a counsellor or someone to talk this through with? They may be able to help you come to terms with what happened to you, and maybe you will learn not to associate sex with what happened to you. I say maybe...there is always the chance that you will find it hard to overcome those associations.

    Only time and support will tell, so let yourself have that. Your current boyfriend sounds like he is understanding, you think you could talk to him about it?

    Take care, you can PM me if you need to talk,
    Lauren xxx
  3. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    I must agree with Laureen. All depends on the reaching out for help to overcome these past experiences and your own relationship with your partner(s) present and future.

    If your parnter is comprehensive and patient it will help a lot but you must come to term with your past and learn to relax, let yourself go completely in love making feeling safe, loved and to trust.

    This doesnt happen overnight but yes, it is possible to reach this. You will never forget it yet with time and help (psicologic help) this past experience will not reach your emotional being as time goes..... lessening with time i mean.

    good luck dear
  4. hollyblue

    hollyblue New Member

    You will, it feels like you wont at the moment. You need to go through some sort of counselling, your GP can recommend someone who is trained to deal with people who have been raped.

    I was sexually abused for 6 years as a child then raped twice as an adult both times by people i thought were my closest friends.

    I thought I would never ever enjoy sex, it took a year of me and my parnter being together before i could have sex with him. I didnt like it but 3 years on i am happy most of the time having sex with him, if i am not in the mood i tell him and he is fine with it.

    Be patient and seek some councelling

    good luck
  5. baby.bop

    baby.bop Member

    thank you all
    i had counselling at college, moved to uni and was refused counselling becuase she said she couldnt cope with my issues, and now am on a 12week waiting list to see a pyschiatric aide that will assess me, maybe i will finally get the help i need. i am also on cymbalta, which keeps the bulimia at bay bit i dont know i just cant get over the rape, i coped better before but i seem to have gotten worse again recently.

    i am glad that you are happy finally hollyblue, you give me hope.
    and thank you endinday and lauren, i appreciate teh support.

    i guess i just have to wait for the assesment and appreciate the fact that my boyfrend is patient.

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