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will it always be like this?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by blondeellen, Jul 8, 2011.

  1. blondeellen

    blondeellen Well-Known Member

    so basic things about me you'll need to know. i was constantly bullied at school by everyone. i used to be really fat but now iv lost nearly 3 stone (41 pounds) and iv just finished my first year of college.

    so today i was walking through the refectory with my friends who were dressed as harry potter characters. and i was vaguely dressed as luna.
    anyway some people from my school and there friends saw us and shouted "oh what are you dressed as ellen? hagrid?" which was followed by like 5 mins of laughing :/
    every time i got up or went past them they were staring at me (i wasnt being paranoid one of my mates pointed it out to me)

    i dont want to have to avoid EVERYONE from my past but i can imagine seeing one of them in town 10 years from now and them saying mean stuff :/ will it always be like this?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun those people are really showing how stupid and immature they are next time they say something like that just say i thought you would have grown up by now The will move on maybe grow up eventually but people like that will get back what they do to others Try to ignore there stupidity okay they are only making asses out of themselves hugs
  3. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    What total eclipse said is true…

    In addition, we don’t know how things will be or how others will behave, but you have the power to decide to respond differently to their behaviour towards you. For instance, you may tell yourself that they are just being ignorant by behaving like that and you are more mature and stronger now and you won't allow them to hurt you any more. Instead, you go beyond and do the opposite by being happy with yourself so they would see their failure in their attempt to hurt you or put you down. Maybe after a while, they would get tired of themselves…

    Wish you well...and hugs :hug:
  4. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    No it won't always be like this, most people tend to grow out of such behaviour...hang on in there.
  5. Pickett

    Pickett Well-Known Member

    Honestly, you may run into a few people you know from High School and College here and there, but once school is over people usually move on with their own lives. You will meet new people and many of them are jerks because that is how people are, but you'll meet decent people eventually.

    You say that you have lost 41 lbs. That is something to feel great about. You wanted to change your body and worked at it. Feel proud. Having a few extra pounds isn't always a bad thing, but I know not many people want to hear that so I'll shut up about it. I'll take a few of those unwanted pounds and put them on my small badonkadonk give them to me LOL.
  6. Too bad you're suffering because of such assholes... while you're clearly worth much more than them.

    Bullies — people who intentionally try to hurt someone — they can't be happy, can they? Think about it, if you were happy with your life, would you really feel a need to bully and put someone down?

    Satisfied people don't need to put someone down to feel better about themselves.

    Only cruel and bitter people do that... and what do you think, how does life treat them later? I'm not talking strictly about karma... I'm talking about possibilities that such unethical, insecure, bitter and aggressive people will ever lead a healthy life, be in loving relationships, have friends that will love them for what they are, and generally — enjoy life?

    They have no values, no character, no compassion... and you need that to be a good friend, lover, parent, son, human.

    You, on the other hand, might already possess all these good attributes. You just have to learn to eliminate negative people from your life. Just ignore them. Cut them off. You don't know them (anymore), you don't need them (anymore), you don't experience them (anymore). Don't assign any value to their words. They'll always be on the hunt for things to complain and make fuss about... that's what they live for.

    You — find something to fight for, something that you know will make you happy, your ultimate goal, and strive to reach it. And then you'll find such negative people to be only a minor nuisance... you might even see yourself getting stronger by ignoring what they say... and becoming a better, more confident person as a result.

    And yes, they will change, they'll quickly reach stage where the will realize that everyone except them has matured and people are not so amused with bullying anymore (if they ever really were). And then they'll stop.

    Though they will probably be the same assholes inside of them... but it won't matter to you, as long as you don't have to tolerate their silly attempts to ruin your confidence.

    Here's a short writing piece I've stole from somewhere, it'll show you a healthy way to think about negative people and bullies:

    "One of my favorite ways of dealing with assholes is to remember that I can walk away and get on with my life…
    … while the asshole has to go home, go to bed, and wake up as the same pathetic loser jerkwad he was the day before.

    So while he may have won a skirmish with me, overall he’s trapped in a living hell. I wouldn’t want to spend 5 seconds inside his skin, dealing with whatever demons have made him such an insufferable wanker."

    Hope that helps. :)
  7. Pickett

    Pickett Well-Known Member

    While the threat of a good beating against an idiot may seem like a good thing it usually is not. We shouldn't be saying violence is a solution here. That will no doubt make his/her problems worse. Legal trouble, getting kicked out of college, etc., etc. NOT A GOOD IDEA!!
  8. blondeellen

    blondeellen Well-Known Member

    haha lordiceman maybe not the best advice but put a smile on my face. thanks everyone. i've broke up for summer now so probably wont have to see the idiots for a while. i can ignore them fine like they probably think i dont give a fuck but i do. :/