Thinking that this "depression" will never go away and that I can't ever live a normal life is what scares me the most. Even on antidepressants I'm not happy whats so ever. They make me calm and stable, but when they ware off at night I feel as if I hit rock bottom and it is the most terrible feeling ever. I just want the simple things to make my happy. Going outside and seeing a nice sunny day and being happy because of that. I want to feel normal with out medicine. I want to know what true happiness feels like.