will it EVER happen????????

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by avenueQ, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. avenueQ

    avenueQ Member

    i'm almost 18 now and have never evem kissed a boy. barely even flirted with one. argh, and i don't think it will happen for me any time soon because i'm so consumed by body dismorphia and depression that i don't go out. ohhh i so badly want to be normal. i can imagine that this will affect me for the rest of my life, i am so dreadfully ashamed of it.
  2. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    i dont think you should worry about it. just be yourself and take small flirting steps like keep smiling at guys you like when you talk to them and eventually theyll catch on.

    dont worry about it!
  3. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Try not to let it bug you, avenue. Friends make the best partners, just go about making guy friends and see what happens. Girls that flirt around a lot, while they might get kissed or touched a lot as well, also get dumped a lot, cheated on and never really have their partner's respect. That's not the kinda girl you wanna be.
  4. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    There's nothing to be ashamed of... you should be happy that you still may be able to save yourself, completely, for your true love, instead. You're only eighteen, to add... I'm reaching 27, and I still am a complete virgin, in every way. While that does not make me happy, I'm not ashamed of it... at least I still can save myself, completely, for my one and only girl, in the case of me managing to find her. One thing is for sure; had I lost my complete virginity to the wrong person, I would be depressed beyond repair... at least I still have the chance to only do intimate things with my one and only girl.
  5. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    First, there is no such thing as normal. And if it does exist, it sucks, so you don't have to worry about being normal, just be you.

    Second, Don't worry about looks. I know it's hard to believe because of the image tv, movies and magazines give but guys aren't all about one specific look. Every guy is different and each prefers different looks.

    Third, 18 is not even close to old. Girls mature faster then guys (generally) so I'd bet that if you had done stuff earlier you would have found the guys immature and not worth it. Now you're in the age group where there are more guys looking for actual relationships and not just bragging rights for the High school locker room. It might just take you making the first move to find the guy. Unless the guy is model material, most guys are scared shitless and wish that girls would make the first move sometimes.

    I don't know what you're goal right now really is. If it's to find a true boyfriend to have a strong relationship (something that is a good goal), it might take some more time.
    But if you simply want to gain experience by dating and having a physical relationship, you simply have to start taking control and either asking guys directly or putting yourself out there. The fact is guys (especially from 13 to well forever) are controlled by hormones. And as soon as a guy knows a girl is interested in him, there interest in her will go up.

    And for the most part, most guys (there are exceptions of course) will not cruel about turning someone down. If anything they will at least be honest with you (if they're not an ass) and simply say that they are not interested. Rejection is part of life but you shouldn't take it personally.
  6. Drifter

    Drifter Well-Known Member

    It will happen. I was your age when I had my first(and last) girlfriend. Im 20 now, it feels like forever but when you finally meet that one other person theres nothing else like it. We broke up but its an experience that opens your eyes, you can never be ready for love.
  7. Same here, cept I'm a guy (18 too), though I'm working through it, well trying to at least, maybe when I build enough courage up I'll be able to come and chat with a girl like you :rolleyes:.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    i wish i had never kissed a boy...
  9. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    i'm always happy to be a young womans first disappointment...

    chin up :)
  10. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It will happen. There's no rush. Besides you don't want your first to be a jerk. Go at your own pace ok. I know it's hard because of what society says but society is flawed so don't pay attention to what you have and don't have to do.

    Also just cuz you don't go out much doesn't mean your not normal.
  11. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    Why do you want to be normal? Normal is boring, rather be unique. Oh, and kissing is overrated. If you're just kissing for the sake of kissing, then it's pointless. Rather wait until there's someone you really really love, and then kissing them will have meaning.
  12. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Yes, a meaningless kiss with someone not paying attention and looking sideways thinking 'when is this going to end' is not exactly fulfilling :laugh:

    Things happen when you least expect it. I tend to run away from anybody giving me attention because I think why do they like me? I remember going to university the last time and this person giving me lots of attention on the first day, and onwards for the next 5 months and at the beginning I thought what? I'm X weight (it was normal weight but high for me as I have anorexia) how can he like me at X weight? I realised that my weight had nothing to do with it..

    Things happen when you least expect it..at 18 I didn't want anything but things happened anyway and it didn't turn out that well. Although I have been through that feeling of loneliness :hug:
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2008
  13. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    My top tip for beating depression, try as hard as you can not to withdraw into yourself, fight it at every turn, do the best you can to go out and tlak to other people, friends if you have them can help you through it, the key thing is to try not to get yourself into a possition where you are spending vast amounts of time on your own, as much as you might want to cut yourself off from everything and everyone, its the wrong thing to do

    how do i know, cos I did it for a long long time

    It's not easy, in fact sometimes its the last thing in the world you want to do, but try as hard as you can not to shut yourself down, it just makes things worse and helps to keep you in that unhappy place you are now
  14. sithspit

    sithspit Well-Known Member

    Having it not happen isn't a sign that it never will. It's much worse to go through lots and lots of bad relationships than it is to not have one at all. There's so much promise there.
  15. daytona0

    daytona0 Active Member

    I also have a lot of respect for you fatman, because from the other post i know how hard it has been for you in the past. This is some great advice and will really make a difference in the future.

    The only thing i can add, is that if you were to follow fatman's advice here not only would you feel better about yourself but you would appear more confident toward the opposite gender and it will happen a lot quicker! Heck after all the most important quality an individual can have is a good personality and a positive influence on the people they surround. Just for the record, if either you or fatman asked me for a kiss you would certainly get one because i think you two are really nice people :smile:
  16. kmi_x3

    kmi_x3 Member

    i agreee ^^ !!!!!!!!

    but if u want boys
    u have to go out and have fun ^^ !