Will it ever stop

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by princessofelegance, Aug 12, 2011.

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  1. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    I've self harmed for 6 years, i started as small scratches underneith a sweatband and has progressed to both my arms and my legs. i self harm every day, and i can't stop. It's become a huge part of my life, i think about it about 30% of the time everyday. If im not doing it, im thinking about it. I feel like its an addiction, ive read that it's now classed as an addiction but how do you break free from an addiction that cant be treated with medication or rehab. How do you stop doing something which i've grown to love and i feels like it loves me back. it sounds so sick and i really dont want to be judged i just wondered weather anyone else felt the same about their self harm.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hiya nightgirl,

    What is it that mkes you want to self harm? The reasons why you self harm are the issues that need to be addressed so you can fight your self harm addiction. What is it about self harm ou find addictive? Is it seeing the blood? The release? Feelings of punishment?

    For me I usually self harm to punish myself. I do this in a variety of ways but when I feel like I need to har myself physically I sometimes hold and ice cube ever so tightly in the palm of my hand and squeeze it. It really really hurts and it does not leave the damage that SH does. I also sometimes wear a hair band on my wrist and I ping it when I feel the urge to inflict pain. Also holding an ice cube on your forehead really hurts too and ofc it doesn't harm me or leave marks. That is what I have been trying recently as advised by professionals to fight my self harm demons. Sometimes it will not always work but it is a place to start. :hug:
     
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Hey nightgirl :hug:

    It's VERY hard to stop self-harming but it is possible. I know what you mean when you say you love it and it loves you. It's not sick. Well at least I don't think it is because I sometimes feel the same way.

    Some people will argue that it is an addiction you can treat with medication and rehab(psych ward or therapy). I'm not really sure if the medication part works or not. It doesn't for me. But therapy will if you give it a chance I think. If you get a good therapist they can help you figure out exactly why you do it and the feelings behind it and such and help you stop. But you have to want to stop. It sounds like you do :).

    Sorry I'm kind of rambling lol. But maybe consider therapy? It's also really nice to have someone impartial to your life to talk to about anything and everything. Hang in there and if you need to talk you can PM me anytime. :hug:
     
  4. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    It's to punish myself... for the things i've done and said and for the things i should have done and said. I've been trying the rubber band method, but sometimes the urges are just too much, that i just have to SH.
    It's so hard, I cant truely stop until i want to truely stop. I do want to stop, but i dont know if my urge to stop is true enough to stop forever. if that makes any sense?
     
  5. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    The rubber band method is good. Its slowly working yourself down from self harming. Holding ice works too. That's usually what I do.

    But hun, you don't need punishing. You are a human being. We all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over them so much if you can help it. I mean, I don't know what the things are you are referring to but I'm very sure that you don't deserve to be hurt because of them. :hug:
     
  6. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    A lot of the time i do feel like i need punishing. like im just a sick twisted waste of oxygen. I just would like the way i see myself and my SH to stop. One day at a time though.
     
  7. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Aw you are definitely not a twisted waste of oxygen. I don't really know you to well yet but I can already tell that you have a huge heart.

    I know you feel like you deserve to be punished but you don't. If you want to tell me what the things you think you should be punished for are in a PM you can. :hug:
     
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You are definately not a waste of oxygen. Have you been seeking help with your self esteem issues and depression from a doctor? Try the ice cubes, it is a lot more powerful and a stronger feeling than the rubber band method.
     
  9. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    Im on medications for my depression. im on an anti depressant and a mood stabiliser, I will try the ice cubes when i get some, and i will get some. Thankyou all for your replies and support.
     
  10. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    The thing that really helped me to get my mind off of SH was listening to music. it really helped me to be able to push the thoughts out of my head. The music that reflected what i was feeling helped the most. Just do something that keeps your mind occupied.

    And I would definetly agree that cutting is an addiction. I remember sitting in class in school, and all i could think about was cutting and wanting to put staples in my arm (not sure if i can say that). I know how hard it is to get your mind off of SH. But you're only going to be able to do it when you're really motivated to do it. If you're not, then you're going to relapse and the cycle will start again.
     
  11. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    It's no problem at all. Whenever you need us we will be here to support you :hug:
     
  12. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    I love listening to music, it does keep my mind occupied, especially when i listen to songs that really reflect my mood like you said. I'm doing that at the moment, it's helping.
     
  13. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad to hear that the music is helping!:smile:

    What kind of music do you like because i could give you a list of songs that really help me a lot.
     
  14. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    I like loads of music, lots of different songs, so yeah that would be great if u could give me a list of songs :)
     
  15. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    ok, i'll PM you a list of songs, it'll be kind of long, and i'll try to put a variety of genre's. I listen mostly to rock/metal, so most of the songs will be that genre, but i listen to pretty much everything too, so there will be a variety!
     
  16. kizzybaby

    kizzybaby Well-Known Member

    I think people stop when they are ready. People can stop self harming. I promise you, its possible. Even when it feels like it could never happen. Its a journey. You turned to self harm for a reason and you need to work through finding what you 'get' from self harm, why you need it, how you can live without it, or how else you can get it without hurting yourself.

    x
     
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