well tonight my friend will explain to my partner how i really feel, god i can't do it as it will seem emotional blackmail, but he reckons he can explain it so she will understand. thats all i want for her to understand and maybe talk to me honestly and openly. will she have a doubt about her decision? will she admit to loving me still like i think she does? who knows but at least i will have, i hope, the support from the one person who matters to me. i am so scared.