Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Lost Disciple, Mar 29, 2007.

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  1. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    It's really all about the choice, isn't it? Despite anything else, addiction, threats, you name it, it all comes down to the strenght of your will--and we're the weak ones. We're the ones who choose unhealthy ways to express ourselves and slowly take more and more of our lives away, until we've finally completely self-destructed.

    But are we really the weakest wills? Or are we the strongest? We are the people who choose above all the hardest path of them all, the path that somehow, for whatever reason, eventually pushes us this way. The healthy way is the easy way, but somewhere along the line we saw a fork in the road, a path leading down a trail that--at the time--seemed better than the well-paved road. But as we followed the trail we went deeper and deeper into a forest of fear, self-hatred, loathing, and so many more evil things. But we, proving our strength, used the power of will to overcome what others might take as common sense, and push resolutely on in the hope that there's a clearing on the other side.

    It's really not entirely our fault. Haven't we grown up hearing quotes about how things were going to get challenging, poems and stories and sometimes even video games encouraging us to 'the road less taken'? Hasn't it been drilled into our head since day one??

    We chose the path we interpreted was pushed upon us by society, whether concious or unconcious, and nobody should ever, ever, get off making fun of us. Even if most times we appear weaker, and at the mercy of more things, than 'normal' people, it is because we spend so much power on other things.

    After a SH scare I've been clean for close to a month now, and no matter how bad cravings get I'm trying as hard as I can, and am somehow managing to not let it get ahold of me (okay, that's a lie, I doubt I'm going make it through tomorrow, but I've felt like that everyday, you know?).

    Okay, I'm not sure where I was going with this anymore. I started it before a TV show, kept typing it through commercials, and now I've completely lost the inspiration, just as the show ended...

    So take what you will from it. It's poorly written, parts are too brief, parts are too long, parts are badly worded, spelling and grammar errors, I'm sure, but I'm not going to go back over it. So I hope you've had fun.

    Still alive,
    Lost Disciple
  2. control

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  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member


    On the way home he asked me about his work. I don’t know why he thought I knew anything. I told him I’d seen much worse. He seemed to like this answer. His headlights caught something dead in the road. He said, somewhat jokingly? By now, my fever had grown such that I was indifferent to any perilous circumstance. I said, human or the normal kind? He looked as if he did not know how to respond to this question. Then he said, quite seriously, I’m a killer Lucas, pure and simple. I like you and would murder for you. You’re a cripple, so I can tell you anything and it doesn’t matter. You remind me of a priest. You can do anything and go anywhere but you will never be fully here, on earth. There’s not much difference between a murderer and a priest.

    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2009
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    With addiction, EDs especially with a prolonged history of trauma, self destructive behaviours aren't choices but a way of survival, which again, can turn into a trap that can kill you.

    That doesn't mean that people who have these problems are safe to be around as they can hurt and kill and maim other people too, very literally, depending on what kind of person they are.
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Re: control

    why speak in code? you left out the last sentence.
  6. spyke

    spyke Well-Known Member

    Re: control

    yeah buddy it's just down the hall last door on your left can't miss it
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