Wine!!! ARRRGHHH!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by UsedToBe, Jun 29, 2011.

  1. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    I'll be drinking tonight. I am so confused that only when I drink I can get some clarity.
    Tuesday is the day I'm going to sort out what's been bothering me and I have some coming out to do as well, and I need to let it out as can't keep it in me forever.
    I need to get drunk. Really drunk. Reality painfully sucks. Hope I'll pass out tonight and wake up tomorrow noon.
     
  2. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    and more wine tonight. I can see two weeks of heavy drinking coming...
     
  3. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    I hope you are okay…how about something like melatonin to help you get some sleep?

    Please be easy on yourself...
     
  4. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    i have an appointment with my Dr on Monday and I will ask him for some zopiclone. But before that I will check melatonin as I prefer more natural remedies.
     
  5. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    fourth day of drinking, or maybe fifth... lost my count. Feeling like a piece of sh*t anyway, missing you, Mr.P. :(
     
  6. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Dear juniper,

    You can do what you need to do in your life situation that makes you feel better or makes sense to you. Changes are part of life. Nothing to fear as you have what it takes and you can welcome the changes...

    Just to remind you not to get into the habit of drinking too much…

    Wish you well…

    p.s. I’ve also sent you a PM
     
  7. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    Thank you, LoveBeing :)

    fifth day tonight. Wasn't supposed to happen, but drinking again. Guess I just can't cope any other way. I am a piece of sh*t and probably stupid b*tch as my husband said. Just for another reason. Seeing Mr.P. for the last time on Tuesday. I won't be able to bear rejection. Why do I always have to fall for the wrong person??

    I want to get in the car and drive away. When will I stop doing things that mess up my life?
     
  8. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Dear juniper,

    You know you are not any of those…you are worthy… You can choose not to listen to the mind when it’s not friendly to you…

    You can choose NOT to reject yourself first…accept and love yourself unconditionally… When you can truly accept and love yourself unconditionally, you will see things in your life situation more welcoming…

    Please be a good friend to yourself…
     
  9. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    No wine tonight. My husband won't let me. I'm already scared of seeing Mr.P. tomorrow because I know that's when all's going to end for me. Guess I won't be sleeping tonight. I want all this to end. I seriously hate myself and my obsessed brain. I'm crap at life and I also suck at killing myself.
     
  10. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    The truth is that you do not really know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Your thought about it is a reflection of the fear projected by the mind, which is the opposite of what you (your heart) really want…

    If you cannot stop thinking negatively, be aware and observe the negative thoughts and know that they are just thoughts, not reality…

    See if you can be aware that this is just a thought when it appears even during your meeting with Mr. P tomorrow…

    Deep in your heart, you do not really want this to end. You may believe that everything would be alright if Mr. P does or says such and such. The reality is that everything IS alright regardless…but your mind is holding a thought(s) against the reality…

    Your mind is telling you not to love yourself unconditionally as your mind (the ego) is doing what it is conditioned to do to prove that it would be “right” somehow with its prediction(s). If you can see through that and break the thinking patterns of the conditioned mind, you can set yourself free and be in harmony with life, inside and outside…

    You know you do have the power…