• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

Wiped out by favoritism

Tor

SF Supporter
#1
My job is experiencing staff restructuring. The position I was in didn’t change much, it just came with a title change and an increase in responsibility. I thought I stood a good chance at this promotion because I ran a good department by managing a solid team, having good inventory numbers and sales, and always going the extra mile to make sure my area ran at it’s best.

We had to wait a month to find out our fate, which heavily weighed on my depressed and anxious mind. It was one thing to learn that I didn’t receive the promotion. It was another gut punch to learn that I would have to move to a whole new department altogether. But, what hurt the worst, was learning that they offered the promotion to someone known as one of the manager’s favorites. “ she needed to be in an area with lighter weighing freight.”
This woman also has cancer and is therefore, not at work often at all.

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but this all seems like a pity move/game of favorites, which I know isn’t uncommon. Nonetheless, it still hurts like hell. I am absolutely devastated.
I am so angry and upset at the same time. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I know I have to accept this, but it’s so much easier said than done.

I’ve never been able to say that I worked for really hard for something in my entire life. I worked so hard for that promotion and feel so worthless.

Thank you so much to anyone reading this. I appreciate it more than you know.
 

JMG

~ Crazy Cat Lady ~
#2
Hey Tor, just wanted to let you know I read what you wrote here & that I'm really sorry to hear about that situation. I know it is very upsetting & disappointing when people have favorites and when that ends up influencing their decisions when it comes to things that affect our own lives. The thing I try to keep in mind is that just because another person (or people in general, or both) doesn't appreciate or acknowledge me in the way that I want it doesn't mean that it isn't still deserved. It also definitely does NOT mean that you aren't worthy of that, not one single bit!

You are absolutely very worthy, so please try as hard as you can to never doubt that, especially based on the actions and choices of any other person in this world. It sounds like you did a great job & were a lot more deserving of being promoted in that department than the other person too. Another thing that I sometimes find helpful even though it might seem a bit sadistic is having faith that karma will catch up to people who do those kinds of things to people. I think life does balance everything out in the end and there's almost always a lot more going on in any given situation than we could ever possibly be aware of.

Not sure if reading any of this will be helpful or comforting to you in any way but just thought I would post a reply here to you in case it did. Sending lots of big hugs of comfort and love to you, today and always :) *hug
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#3
Social skills first, job skills second. I can't even get hired because normies are like this. It doesn't matter if you're smarter, nicer and a harder worker than everyone else (I'm not, but whatever), they'll fire you first and hire you last if you even display slight traits of autism or even just introversion.
 

Quietus

Well-Known Member
#4
Social skills first, job skills second. I can't even get hired because normies are like this. It doesn't matter if you're smarter, nicer and a harder worker than everyone else (I'm not, but whatever), they'll fire you first and hire you last if you even display slight traits of autism or even just introversion.
This, absolutely. Sometimes, if the interview is over the phone, I can "play the game", so to speak, but if it's in person, I disintegrate.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#5
Hey Tor, just wanted to let you know I read what you wrote here & that I'm really sorry to hear about that situation. I know it is very upsetting & disappointing when people have favorites and when that ends up influencing their decisions when it comes to things that affect our own lives. The thing I try to keep in mind is that just because another person (or people in general, or both) doesn't appreciate or acknowledge me in the way that I want it doesn't mean that it isn't still deserved. It also definitely does NOT mean that you aren't worthy of that, not one single bit!

You are absolutely very worthy, so please try as hard as you can to never doubt that, especially based on the actions and choices of any other person in this world. It sounds like you did a great job & were a lot more deserving of being promoted in that department than the other person too. Another thing that I sometimes find helpful even though it might seem a bit sadistic is having faith that karma will catch up to people who do those kinds of things to people. I think life does balance everything out in the end and there's almost always a lot more going on in any given situation than we could ever possibly be aware of.

Not sure if reading any of this will be helpful or comforting to you in any way but just thought I would post a reply here to you in case it did. Sending lots of big hugs of comfort and love to you, today and always :)*hug
I can’t thank you enough for your kind words @JMG

it means a lot for you to take your time to write such a thoughtful response. I appreciate your perspective as well. Times are hard, but it helps more than I realized to have such amazing support during this time. I hope you are well
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#6
Social skills first, job skills second. I can't even get hired because normies are like this. It doesn't matter if you're smarter, nicer and a harder worker than everyone else (I'm not, but whatever), they'll fire you first and hire you last if you even display slight traits of autism or even just introversion.

I agree, my friend. Although, I wish our society didn’t value extroverts so much over introverts. But it is what it is. I’m sorry you have experienced similar rejections. Introverts are undervalued in this loud world
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#7
My job is experiencing staff restructuring. The position I was in didn’t change much, it just came with a title change and an increase in responsibility. I thought I stood a good chance at this promotion because I ran a good department by managing a solid team, having good inventory numbers and sales, and always going the extra mile to make sure my area ran at it’s best.

We had to wait a month to find out our fate, which heavily weighed on my depressed and anxious mind. It was one thing to learn that I didn’t receive the promotion. It was another gut punch to learn that I would have to move to a whole new department altogether. But, what hurt the worst, was learning that they offered the promotion to someone known as one of the manager’s favorites. “ she needed to be in an area with lighter weighing freight.”
This woman also has cancer and is therefore, not at work often at all.

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but this all seems like a pity move/game of favorites, which I know isn’t uncommon. Nonetheless, it still hurts like hell. I am absolutely devastated.
I am so angry and upset at the same time. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I know I have to accept this, but it’s so much easier said than done.

I’ve never been able to say that I worked for really hard for something in my entire life. I worked so hard for that promotion and feel so worthless.

Thank you so much to anyone reading this. I appreciate it more than you know.
That sucks Tor. And I really do understand your frustration.

Personally, I believe Karma in the real world does not exist; life isn't always fair and we just have to get used to it.
You don't get what you deserve. You get what you get, and what you get will never be what you deserve. Accepting these harsh facts of life is indeed easier said than done. But they're not about you as a person, or a judgement on your character or integrity. All those things are still a part of you.

Remember also, everything costs something. That person you know who is super successful? They paid something to get what they've got. They won't show you what it cost. They may not even know themselves
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#8
That sucks Tor. And I really do understand your frustration.

Personally, I believe Karma in the real world does not exist; life isn't always fair and we just have to get used to it.
You don't get what you deserve. You get what you get, and what you get will never be what you deserve. Accepting these harsh facts of life is indeed easier said than done. But they're not about you as a person, or a judgement on your character or integrity. All those things are still a part of you.

Remember also, everything costs something. That person you know who is super successful? They paid something to get what they've got. They won't show you what it cost. They may not even know themselves

Your words are beautifully true. I’m doing much better since writing this post, and have really worked on acceptance, like you mentioned. It is all much certainly easier said than done, but what other choice is there really?

@Dark111 I genuinely appreciate you and your kindness. People like you make recovering easier :)
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#9
Your words are beautifully true. I’m doing much better since writing this post, and have really worked on acceptance, like you mentioned. It is all much certainly easier said than done, but what other choice is there really?

@Dark111 I genuinely appreciate you and your kindness. People like you make recovering easier :)
You're making me blush *shy
 
#13
I don’t mean to sound harsh, but this all seems like a pity move/game of favorites, which I know isn’t uncommon
I think it's common for whoever is doing the hiring to make a choice based on their own wishes or interests rather than what is in the best interests of the company, or what is fair.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#14
I think it's common for whoever is doing the hiring to make a choice based on their own wishes or interests rather than what is in the best interests of the company, or what is fair.
You are spot in. it’s sad that it’s the case, but it makes me happy that I’m not alone in recognizing this truth. Thank you for saying this @ may71
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$95.00
Goal
$255.00
Top