wish I could stop thinking.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chadaho, Feb 18, 2014.

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  1. Chadaho

    Chadaho Member

    I am my own worst enemy. I'm anxious, depressed, and hurting. I know I should be wanting to try to live. At least at the moment I am not trying to die. Now I'm waiting for strenght to hopefully come through. The strength to successfully deal with the issues at hand. I am still seeing my own death played out I'm my mind over and over. Sometimes I even wish for it. I saw an object and my first thought was , I wonder if that could kill me? I want to think more clearly. I want my mind to slow down so I can keep control. I have no control. My mind goes dark so fast. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm I'm praying for death.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Chadaho i truly understand i do and i hope you can reach out for support hun in real life to slow that brain down some Meds therapy something hun
    coming here talking helps it does it helps to slow the thought down some so i am glad you are here talking to us hugs
  3. Chadaho

    Chadaho Member

    One of those mood changes just visited. Was sitting playing a game and suddenly dark. What drags me into this hell. Like walking a path with hidden sinkholes. One minute fine and then straight shot to hell. Find my mind in a dark pattern. Its gotta stop so I can function. When I go dark I loose all will to do anything. No motivation. I need to stay busy.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    There are things that we can learn how to do, in order for our minds to become our best friend - so that waking up each day becomes something to look forward to - I promise you that this is true, - maybe not gonna happen overnight if you've "fed" negativity for a long time, but try telling yourself that it is only a PART of you that this happens to, it isn't ALL of you - most of you wants to live, to survive and to thrive, - most people we think (as in those outside, on TV, in movies etc.) seem to have no problem doing these 3 things with never a waiver - but that isn't the truth of how things really are, only how they seem to the part of us that makes comparisons. Facing up to false expectations is another skill - it is very liberating. :)
  5. unionfalls

    unionfalls Well-Known Member

    I so feel this too. My mind just continually gives me negative feedback. I so wish you did not have to feel this. I try to distract myself with whatever I can. I am on meds and working with a psychologist to get a better handle on this. This site has also been helpful in knowing that we are not alone and there are people here for support. Get so tired having my own mind beat me down. Keep posting and reaching out. Wishing you well.
  6. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member


    If you are able to meditate that might be of some help to you Chadaho
  7. pasd

    pasd Member

    I struggle with this too, and I think many of us do. If you can,when the darkness is a little further away, take a look at it, get to know it, name it if that helps. Then become aware of its lurking presence before the overtake. If you can create some space between you and "it", you can being talking to it. Example, "Oh it's you...go away, not in the mood to deal with you." Sounds really corny but it can help...it's about awareness and recognizing before it takes you over. Also, remember the power of the breath. When it starts, focus only on your breathing (in...out...) to help you get in to the very present moment. I agree with Twocky 61, meditation might be very helpful. Find a spiritual center and attend a few lectures. The darkness is not YOU. You have some sense of separation from it already it sounds like. GIve it a whack n the nose and send it away.
    Please know I do not mean to trivialize what you are experiencing. I have just found that these little techniques have helped me. Maybe they can help you too. Take gentle care
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