I am my own worst enemy. I'm anxious, depressed, and hurting. I know I should be wanting to try to live. At least at the moment I am not trying to die. Now I'm waiting for strenght to hopefully come through. The strength to successfully deal with the issues at hand. I am still seeing my own death played out I'm my mind over and over. Sometimes I even wish for it. I saw an object and my first thought was , I wonder if that could kill me? I want to think more clearly. I want my mind to slow down so I can keep control. I have no control. My mind goes dark so fast. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm I'm praying for death.