Wish I died a long, long time ago.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by skyblue, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. skyblue

    skyblue New Member

    If I had died when I first tried, I would've had more friends that cared.

    Now, because my life has gone even more downhill, I'm isolated and am trying to take care of my extremely depressed brother.

    I have to find a home for my parrot and dog which rips my heart in two. I love them and want them to be loved. It's extremely complicated.

    I live with my Mother even though I am old (50- loser) and have not been able to beat the lifelong depression. She is sick now, and I suspect will die soon. This leaves me homeless and ........

    I have no one to talk to except my sister-depressed, my brother derpressed, my sick mother and my Psyc. who has gotten me this far but goes home to her rich house............I don't know why I was ever born except to suffer if that's the plan God had for me.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are of great help to your mother and siblings. Where would they be without you kindness. You life has meaning in just that. You say you live with your mom so whats wrong with that lots of people have to do that now adays with things the way they are. You are depressed yes maybe doctor needs to change up your meds a bit add newer ones. will the home your living in not go to you if your mother dies it is your home to. just know you have people who listen here and who cares okay so really your not all alone stay strong if only for the ones you love but please take care of you too take time for you
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey i hope you are feeling stronger today keep talking okay keep posting so we know how your are doing.
  4. Kath123

    Kath123 Active Member

    I relate. I'm 40 yo loser and live with my parents. I think all the time about the suicide attempt I made when I was 20 and wish so much I had been successful then. It would have been SO MUCH BETTER if I had died. For everyone. Now I stay alive because of my parrot and my parents. But I'm not a good person like you are. You're a caretaker - of your mother, your brother, your parrot and your dog - you deserve to live and be happy.
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