i really need someone to share my feelings with and support that person through their problems. Why do i have to be such a loser. Every time I try to make friends with new people I end up being awquard and boring and the person doesnt want anything to do with me. I make girls feel embarrased to be around me. Why cant i be full of jokes and charisma, be the life of the party all the time, making friends with everyone i meet. Instead of of a stupid boring failure who got kicked out of school with no chance of getting into university, whose friday nights and weekends consist of sitting up all night smoking and going on the internet on my own in the dark, someone whose too scared to go into town and buy new clothes because he thinks everyone is going to laugh at him and make fun of him. why cant i be like those people in the movies or in emo music, they're outcasts of society but thats what makes them really cool and individual and they all have friends and girlfriends and are really smart. I dont even have the fucking balls to kill myself. I am pathetic.