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Wish I was dead

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by abstractions, Jan 8, 2011.

  1. abstractions

    abstractions New Member

    Life just doesn't, really, seem worth it to me, anymore. Struggle through shitty, boring, unstimulating school every day just so I can do what... go home and be alone? I'm always alone. I'm so tired of being alone that I could scream, or cry, rather, which I do often and is hard to admit. And it's not much better around other people -- the loneliness. You think it will be and you think it might be, but then it's just the same. old. crap. Same old flaws that humans have (and I know that I have them, too) and I just want to throw up. It will never get any better. I don't enjoy anything anymore and I'm only 20 and I just wish that I would die. I'm so tired of life and thoughts and opinions and judgments and sadness and confusion and people and choices and how abstract everything is.

    I just want to sleep forever.
    I just can't take being conscious anymore.
  2. youngter

    youngter Member

    I wish I had something to say that would help, I do understand that being around others isn't any better than being alone, people give me anxiety atacts and so does the phone.
  3. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry how you feel. I am fifteen and feel the same way. You feel just as bad alone as you do with a group of people. I get anxiety attacks almost everyday at school. I can barely handle it and I wish I was dead as well. The only thing keeping me from committing the awful seven letter word is the hope of one day it all being gone. I cut almost every day just so I wont hurt myself more. As much as people tell me to stop or say that it makes them sad, it's all I can really do. I know that my words do not help at all... But just know that you deserve so much more than that. Think of what makes you happy and smile and pursue it. No matter what it is. Try to find some one that always makes you laugh and have fun with. Try not to think of how shitty school is or how awful life is sucking at the moment... For me to make me feel better I started playing the piano. I concentrate on that and if I start to let my mind wander, I turn on the TV for five minutes to get my mind off of it. Try it, maybe it would help. Again, I'm sorry. Please do not try not to do something you will regret. If you want, you can always PM me any day and I can try to help. Or just talk. I love to just talk if you need some one to just talk to. Have a nice night.