It would have been so much easier last year, I can't get hold of what I need anymore so it's pretty much impossible. Can't go out, can't even feel okay inside because there's things I'm supposed to deal with out there. Can't even make tea to calm me down cos the milk went bad. There isn't anyone I can call on. I'm alone. Sure I guess they'd rather I stayed alive but as long as they don't have to have anything to do with me when I am.