i know some people cry wishing others would care. But I wish no one would care so that I could just die and no one would be hurt. it's horrible, but i wish my parents were dead. they are the ones that would hurt the most. i'm trying to rationalize that they had 39 years with me, can't that be enough? I don't live in the same state anymore, so how much would their life really change anyway? I just want this depression to finally take me to that point where I don't care that they care. i'm so tired of carrying on. I don't want to get better. I want to die. i want to die!! I HATE the saying that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" This is no temporary problem! I hate myself and am too lazy to do anything about it. It's not going to change. I'm not going to change.