Wish this was the end!

I have been planning to hold off on any rash decisions to end my life until i see what happens after valentines day (if my boy takes me bac or not) but i odnt think i can last this long! i need to do it now! i dont kno how, but i cant keep living like this! every day is so hard, i have to fight so hard against my own mind every day and im tired of it. If i cant b wit him, i cant b alive! i want to go....NOW!

 

First of all, don't take your life over a guy. Be rational here hun. It's only a guy. There are other fish in the sea. Never decide to 'off' yourself because a guy won't take you back. YOu're probobly a lovely girl with a loser boy. If a guy can't see that he isn't worth taking you life. Were you able to survive before him, it sure looks like it. Sorry for being blunt and rash but it's needed hun. My ONE rule is never look to suicide bcuz of a guy. And I have had a lot of guy issues. But if he loved you would he have ever dumped you?? And valentine's day is just a day made up by Hallmark. I can guarantee that my bf of 4 months won't call me. THEY'RE JUST BOYS! And we love you hun. Just know that.

 

Helpless88,

Hello and welcome to the forum. Sounds like your having a real tough time right now. Im just wondering if thiers other things going on in your mind causing you to feel such a strong desire to commit suicide...please know that you dont need others to validate your feelings and self worth...you are worthy of love and appreciation. Maybe this is the guy for you maybe its not, but what ever the decision is, you need to be ok with who you are, love yourself and appreciate yourself. Killing yourself over loosing a relationship is final, you'll never have the opportunity to see if thier is someone else out thier who might be better suited for you. Its a big world. Try not to allow yourself to give another person so much power over who you are, dont let this guy define you. You are so much more than that. You are a worthy person and although it may not seem so now, you will get through this, you will go on and you will find someone else. You can lean on us as much as you need to, thats what were here for....please take good care of yourself, and keep us informed on how your doing.......-Jodi

 

Thanx for ur replies!
I kno what u mean when u say i shouldnt rest everything on him. Thats part of the reason that we arent together n e more, i repled on him far too much, he was the only one who could make me feel better, and he didnt kno how to deal wit it, he felt like i put too much pressure on him. And hes probably right, how would u feel if u walked outside ur house and ur ex girlfriend (we had been broken up for about a week at the time) was outside in her car wit cuts on her wrists and a knife in her hand? It would have scared him more than i can imagine! and because hes never dealt wit depression he finds it very hard to understand. Ive been trying for months to get over him (or get him bac) and NOTHING works! its not like i just gave up, i tried so hard to b strong for me and for him, but i just CANT n e more! i wish there was an easy way to end it all. then he wouldnt have to worry about me n e more, he could just move on. Then my family wouldnt have to worry and fight. Then my friends wouldnt have to bother calling me (not like they do n e more n e way), and u guys wouldnt have to hear me go on about problems that r nothing compared to what most of u have dealt with....and finally i would not to have to endure the sleepless nights, hours of crying, frustration etc. It would b better for everyone!

 

Never end your life because of another person. No one else is worth your life, no matter how important he seems to be at the moment. When relationships turn sour or go horribly wrong, it is surprising how just the passage of time will help to put things in the proper perspective.

I've had a lot of people run me over emotionally, financially and otherwise, and not one of them is worth dying over. I know it sounds harsh but it's best just to move on. Be your own best friend! As someone mentioned, there are plenty other fish in the sea, and besides, a good friend (not necessarily in the romantic department) might be waiting for you just around the corner.

I know this sounds strange, but when I was younger and was heartbroken over what another person did to me, I would sit down and type out a letter to that person. The fact that the letter was never sent wasn't the point. I found it to be a very therapeutic practice. List everything; hold back nothing.

After you're finished, be kind to yourself. Take yourself out on a date! Go see a movie, have a great dinner or special treat. Sounds crazy, I know. But when others have hurt us deep inside, we need to seek the strength from within and realize that we deserve better.

BTW, I don't consider ANY problem that is causing a person to think of suicide as trivial or not as bad as some other issues other people may have. It is important to you and evokes very strong feelings, and that is what is important. Hope I'm making sense!

 

Indeed. I am sorry about all that, but please don't do anything rash. Please try to stay safe. You can make it. It'll be ok hun. :hug: if you'd like to talk I am here for you sweetie. Just a PM away.

 

Thanx so much for ur replies but i cant make it! every day gets worse and worse and i just cant continue like this! i dont want to live n e more, it hurts too much!

 

Just remember the conversation we had on chat, Helpless.. don't forget. You can make it, because there's faith in you.. <3.

 

Helpless88,

Im truly sorry that your in so much pain....please know that in time things do change and sometimes that change is for the better. I just want you to know Im thinking of you and praying you find some inner peace....stay with us, and let us support you....please take good care.....-Jodi

 

o great thats right, valentines day is coming...*exaggerated sigh* well atleast U shouldnt kill urself. <Mod Edit: Abacus21 - inappropriate> that would suck. but u'd never know if thats gona happen if u off urself