I wish I could go lower on my arms. Sticking to just my upper arms, digging into an old scar, renewing it so I can keep it longer, reminding me of my vow to keep fighting to live until I have nothing left...It's not enough. I want to be able to go all over my arms, and it's pathetic and sad because it's not like my life is in danger right now, or like all the crap is hitting the fan. It's just...I feel empty. Numb. So out of it and even among people I know and feel safe with...I have trouble feeling. I just...I need rest. To relax, and feel the burning on my arms, the red lines on my arms to become more so I can feel. It's horrible. But it's true.