its like everything around me all the time now is setting me off, not to mention this crummy, overrated, marketed holiday we have coming up. being alone and i am alone every day and this bulloney holiday just makes me want to <edit moderator total eclipse method> for xmas dinner. i have exhausted all my efforts to try and get help and no matter what i may say the local health care facilities just tell me, your fine, go home and get some rest. really? i told them if i owned a gun i would have done this a long time ago and they still say, you down own one, so your fine. nice to see the local community cares so much for the sick and suffering. they dont so i would like to off myself right down in public square with a long letter attached to let them all know how pathetic society is and YES, they pushed me over the edge. now how is that for a happy holiday?