withdrawn and dying in a hollow shell

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Jul 25, 2012.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    so withdrawn that i dont even know how to write this and have it come out right...only reason i am in chat now is to not be lonely...i am unable to speak, unable to help...completely worthless to everyone including myself. im not sleeping even with meds, i just stare blankly at the ceiling. Tears dont come, pain doesnt come, just complete emptyness. i dont have the words to say how i feel...there is no word for it. im no longer close to anyone...and the ones i was close to i have pushed away...no need for anyone to be there or worry. im a waste of time and space. in the future if u see me in chat dont hug me, dont acknowledge me. not worth it. i was born alone and im gonna die alone...ive made sure of that now. its better this way, no one to hurt when i am gone. im dying in this hollow shell of myself...my mind fucked up to enfinity, my memory shot to hell.

    Yes, I am falling... how much longer 'till I hit the ground?
    I can't tell you why I'm breaking down.
    Do you wonder why I prefer to be alone?
    Have I really lost control?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 25, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Meg oh dear hun i am so sorry you feel so alone with this sadness right now. The thing is hun you are not alone ok i am here i care about you and i am sure others care too hun Please hun you reach out now you don't push people away You call someone you trust and get some much needed support ok hugs to you
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I care too ..don't isolate yourself..let those who care about you offer support here..
    there are people who will be hurt if you leave..
    I hope you keep talking about things that worry you :hug:
  4. Joshua2803

    Joshua2803 Well-Known Member


    In times of deep despair its good to open up to some one. As a temporary way to pick yourself up watch a favorite movie that makes you laugh and is up beat. But on a more permanent basis to help yourself feel better. Reject any Negative thoughts of yourself. Only think positive about yourself. That's easier said than done I know. But if you practice doing this, you will feel better. We can find reasons and excuses for why we do what we do in all other area's of life, why not do the same when it comes to thinking positive about ourselves. If you have trained yourself to think in a negative pattern. You can train yourself to think in a positive pattern. It's worth the fight to learn how to do this. There is a bible proverb that says "All the days of the afflicted one are bad; but the one that is good at heart [has] a feast constantly."---Proverbs 15:15. I wish you the best. Please check out this web page.
  5. triedtoomanytimes

    triedtoomanytimes Well-Known Member

    To not be lonely, unable to speak.
    I think I have an idea of that. needing to be around someone, people, but unable to communicate with them, you feel they expect something of you, you feel you expect something of you, but you don't know what, don't know how.

    That may or may not be something about how you felt yesterday, I hope you're feeling better today.

    An empty vessel has the capacity to be filled, one that is already full can only be emptied. Your emptiness and loneliness are spaces waiting to be filled.